It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Not so social

Last year, in my first months of being newly widowed,  all alone in a new town, in a state that I had not lived in for years , in the US that I had not lived in for 7 years .. I thought I would go mad being alone.
In Argentina, my husband and I were together 24 hours a day.
We liked it.
We enjoyed each others company, we would socialize but we were happy when it was just the two of us again.
We were content with each other.
Something that I believe is a gift ...  to be content with another person , day in and day out for years and years .. what else can you call it but a gift ?
Once or twice I went out with an American   lady that I had met, she was very nice, she was interesting, but I could not wait to get home.
Nothing to do with her, only... I missed my husband.

We had some nice years together when he decided to quit working.
We got to move to a couple of parts of the US and live in different areas / lifestyles. Then all because of an article he read in the New York Times, we went to Argentina to celebrate our anniversary .. and when we came home, he began to talk about living there.

And one thing led to another ... we loved every day that we lived there , every minute.
The great thing was, our neighbors , especially those in our building, spoke English, talked to us, got to know us and became our friends.
We learned Castellano and tried our best to get along with that ... we got Gold Stars for trying .. for being understood ? not so much.
But everyone appreciated the fact that we tried.

Socializing was a bit hard .. we were treated beautifully, no one was rude but the truth is, if you are not fluent in a language, sitting around with 20 people who are speaking another language, is not going to be the most fun you've had.
But we managed in our way, we knew when to not even bother trying and we still had friends and relationships and a nice happy social life.

Now , here I am ... the one person I loved to socialize with every day  .. is gone.
My neighbors are kind and sweet but we don't sit and chat.
One does but I haven't enough Garden club experience for her to enjoy talking to me .. that and trading cat stories is about as far as we go.
But I treasure them for being so nice , especially when my husband died and I was so lost in my sadness and loneliness.

Because I am alone so much and don't really know anyone here socially, I am adjusting to that .
I am beginning to like it.
I am beginning to prefer it.
Let's have coffee ! Lets have lunch at the mall and try on shoes at DSW ... but after that, I am happy to come home and tell Minette how much I missed her.

I'm just not that social anymore ..

Monday, October 27, 2014

Tumbling along

I post on Tumblr. My posts are all photos that I took over the years that we lived in Argentina.
Once in a while, I re-post someones photos that are especially beautiful or meaningful to me, sometimes they just need to be shared with more people.

I have some that I keep as screensavers.
This is one.
Then there are times I need a smile and something like this, never fails to make me smile.

Sometimes I think about food. What to eat. What to cook. What to buy. I am bored with food.
I eat almost the same thing every day. So food that looks this tempting is nice ..
I can't remember how many years it has been since I had dumplings in a Japanese restaurant. Actually, it was in Buenos Aires so it was about 7 years ago, when we first arrived.

Then there is food that I can make. And eat and enjoy. And impress my overnight guests.

But mostly, I love Tumblr because of the beauty of photos like this .. soul soothing ..

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Over so fast !

For me, this morning ... the weekend is over.
Waking to a dark morning, rain and dreariness and the little family packed and ready to leave.
I didn't even have my 3rd cup of coffee yet !!

I am alone again with the kitten.
I am weeping from sadness that the time went so fast, I didn't get in enough baby kisses and laughs and fun.
Minette is walking around howling ... she can't find her little bitty boy.
She likes him.
Sometimes he has food on him.

I spent more time cleaning, shopping and cooking in anticipation of the visit, than the actual length of time of the visit  ...

Ah well, I must work on Hobbies, finding one ... Friends, finding one ... Travel and Adventure .. dreaming of that one.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Murder Mystery

I am typing with 3 fingers on my right hand.
Minette made sure that the other 2 would not work for a while.
I had the bright idea of trying to cut her nails. The nails cut me instead.

Company is coming. Tomorrow. yay !

I am baking , cooking everything ahead so I won't be stuck in the kitchen this time.
 Enough of that !
I want to be in the middle of the action .. not the cook stirring her pots !

It has been a very gloomy day .. rain, mist, fog, and yet, it is so  beautiful.
The colors glow against the grey background.
The yellows of the trees in my yard look like light is shining from inside.
The reds of the trees across the street bring a warm glow, I will miss those leaves.
I will miss the green and colors and feeling that it is warmer out there than it really is.

Minette is sleeping, draped across the back of the sofa, like a small grey scarf tossed aside .. she is boneless.

Winter, greyness, being inside more, all depress me.

So instead of going to online shopping venues, I am now looking at travel options.
Too bad Minette can't take turns with me driving .. although ....
Knowing her, she will sit in her little travel crate and be a back seat driver ..

I guess an airplane ride might be an option .. maybe London or Paris would be nice ..
 I will talk to her about that.
She always seems to have an opinion lately.

My fingers hurt, I am going to read .. a Murder Mystery ... ( is it about a woman whose kitten cuts her fingers , one by one until she bleeds to death ?) 

Can You Imagine ????  

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Dog Worship Day

Dog Worship Day in Nepal.

Why don't we have one in the US ?
Or even just Care About Animals Day ?

I made the mistake of looking at a website for animals who are on "Death Row" .. shelters just cannot take care of them all. So they die.

People do hideous things to dogs and cats and they die or they are found and put into shelters.
But then they end up dying because the shelters have no more room .
A terrible situation all around.

I think people should be punished for the brutal things they do to animals. ( a dog was found with a piece of metal piercing his leg .. he was chained to a pole, the owner just jammed the chain lock through the dogs leg. )

Minette the kitten was found with a dead cat ( possibly the mother) in the snow and ice, under a huge bridge over the Hudson River. Some people would say God works in mysterious ways.
That she was even found .. that she was still alive ( she was weeks old) .. that a few weeks later I just walked in to Animalkind to get an idea about adopting a kitten. Did I want to do it ? Was it a good idea ?
My husband and I had talked about it ... a lot.
I knew I wanted a dog .. a "watch dog " kind of dog but also a family dog, a dog hopefully as perfect as our dog Tate was .
My husband loved Russian Blues and from the love we had for our cat, we also loved Abyssinians.
This would be the first time I had gotten a pet just for myself ..

I realized one day that a dog would prevent me from traveling , visiting my friends and family .. I would have to walk it in winter here ... big deterrent.
So I figured, I will get the kitten first.

I walked in the door at AnimalKind and this tiny blue kitten jumped out of the perch she was on and walked along beside me, inside her glass room. She had eyes like headlights, bright yellow eyes in this tiny blue kitten.
They told me, open the door, pick her up.
So I did.
And we are living happily ever after  ... if she would only stop knocking things off of everything and walking on the stove and counters and let me cut her nails.

I think this is not a good time to get a dog .. not yet. I might move.
She might kill it.
But I am still daydreaming of a place where I have a dog , where I walk it each day, play with it, and let Minette play Who's Boss with it.

For now, though, it will have to be Cat Worship Day at my house.
She insists.
What do you have at your house ?

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Staying Cheery

It is chilly, dreary, raining and gloomy out.
Minette and I are going to do what we can to stay Cheery.
She is picking out the music now.

Monday, October 20, 2014

October 20th

Autumn used to be my favorite time of year. That changed last year, on October 20th.
Everything I loved, everything that I enjoyed and knew and wanted ... changed. Most of it was lost.
I am better, I guess I am stronger, I am still grieving and still wonder what is going to become of me.
But I have Minette and my children . I lived through this first year ... I count those as the positives.
Thank you , you know who you are, for the notes and sweet thoughts.
We muddle through life, whatever it throws at us or takes away from us.
Be happy. Enjoy your life and the ones you love .. kiss them and tell them you love them .. every day.

Saturday, October 18, 2014


Autumn has hit full blast.
The gardens are over the ankles deep in leaves, the geese fly over in squadrons, honking and the chipmunks are crazy with busyness ...
I throw out whatever I think they might like, fatten them up for the months ahead ... so far they do appreciate pistachios in the shell, no salt .
Not to mention the bird seed that gets thrown out ... some days I look out the windows and see cardinals, blue jays and doves, little sparrows and chipmunks .. all noshing on seeds.
A Peaceable Kingdom ... with Minette watching every move, tail twitching, the rest of her still as stone.
I wonder what she would actually do if she were out there ... she has no idea she is so small.
In her mind, she is a lion walking around the house .. she is so brave, my little tiny cat.

Today I grabbed her off the bed and swooped her up in the air and she made the tiniest of little sounds .. eek !
I held her close and apologized, she must have felt like she was flying .. or being thrown.
So we had a lovely little love -in on the bedroom floor , which ended when she bit my nose.
That kitten has the sharpest teeth, my hands are covered in tiny red dots .. my arms too.
I wonder what people think when they see my arms .
I don't care what people think when they see my arms.

I have been nesting.

I have recipes.
1,000 recipes.

Today will be pastries wrapped around tomatoes and gouda.
It will go nicely with the homemade soup.

Have to go now, the kitten just fell into the sink.

Don't ask.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Early Days

Buying an apartment in Buenos Aires is so very different from anything we had imagined.
Beginning with the fact that it is done all in cash .. cash that you bring to the table and everyone around that table counts it .

Which calls for the closing to be in a very secure building with a lot of bullet proof glass and guards with rather large guns and automatic locks on all doors .. it sort of had me terrified but I was so excited about the fact that we had finally found our home, my sort of dream home.

Finally we could have the movers deliver out belongings that had been sitting for months somewhere in BA , waiting for a home ... hoping no one had broken, lost, stolen anything ..

We had made friends with a man who owned a company that renovates homes so we just had to choose  few things and make some ideas known to them...
We wanted to live in a home that was as authentic an Argentine home as possible. No modern, (North) American fixtures and styles.

We spent hours each day, wandering the streets where furniture shops waited for us.
San Telmo , where miles of Antique shops tempted well as vendors outside on weekends.

We went to Avenida Belgrano where furniture was piled high in vast rooms.
We ended up with some lovely things .. a sofa, that is still great .
We went to the Thonet showroom and bought a dining room table and chairs.
We bought antique chandeliers in San Telmo then had to have them rewired and installed but wow , they were the perfect touch in those old rooms with 18' high ceilings.

Our days were full, adventures, laughing, kissing and loving where we were and what we were doing .. and Pup was enjoying everything too.
He liked his new found popularity.

To Be Continued:

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

" Paris Argentina "

 After visiting Buenos Aires and seeing the architecture , the streets and doors and balconies  and generally the charm and Old World beauty of the buildings, parks and streets ,  I was determined to have an apartment that was just as charming and Old World , hopefully as French as the buildings  that I liked so much.

We looked at apartments with our realtor and every single one had one thing or another that made them No Good. Not good for us .. 
I wanted charm .. I didn't want post war modern or whatever that look was ... depressing and sterile with hard surfaces and cheap products ..  

I had been in a couple of apartments that were on high floors with amazing views but they were super modern and the elevators worried me.
Yes, elevators often worry me.
I get on them, I go up and down and say nothing, show nothing but there is that frisson of ...worry.. that it might stop , for no reason .. and I might have to stay inside it for a while. 

Alone or with people... it almost doesn't matter ... any scenario that has me in an elevator that is not going Up or Down is not a good one.

We rented an apartment upon arrival .. 5th floor, 3 bedrooms , huge kitchen and living room with a view. 
But ... the elevator just fit my husband and I and believe me .. we were not large people .. 
Pup fit in with us but he wasn't happy about it.
And I kinda freaked out every time it would do an extra little hop when it went up or stopped.

The next apartment we rented ( because we were having a hard time finding one we wanted to buy).
had a similar elevator but in a more modern ( 60's ?) building ... 
Two humans and a Standard Poodle was a squeeze.
We were on the 6th floor. 
If it went straight up with no stops, I was able to breathe Okay .. if there was any stopping or starting or jerking around, I got out and walked up the stairs. 
I got into shape really fast when we moved to Buenos Aires.

So one day walking with the realtor and being sad because everything was ugly and we never saw anything like  I had  imagined, we saw a For Sale sign .. VENDE .. 
While we stood there and waited with high hopes , the realtor called the number and got us an appointment for the next day.
We tried hard not to get our hopes up.
It was a block from a huge boulevard. 
It was 2 blocks from miles of parks.  Pup got his hopes up. 

to be continued ..

The Old Neighborhood

"Our" parks, we were there every single day, rain or shine.

A mews hiding a couple of very good restaurants.

Our neighbors .. a neighborhood of mansions and spectacular homes .. 

I never did get a good answer to my question .. Why Can't We Live There ?

The Avenue at the end of our street .. Libertador !

A casa that now houses a Museum

Where am I ? Paris ? No .. Buenos Aires 
You never know who or what you will see ... sometimes the most unexpected sights .. lovely unexpected sights.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Thoughts on Now and Back Then

In case you wondered what it looked like around my home these days ... the wind is blowing away all the colorful leaves, the grass is still green and there are a lot of shrubs that are a bright yellow so it is not that dreary.

I spend a lot of time daydreaming.
Daydreaming of trips to Argentina.
Daydreaming of trips to England.
Daydreaming of finding a Time Machine and going back. Not far ... just about a year or two.

Minette is insane.
As any self respecting kitten should be. She will be napping one minute and running like her tail is on fire the next .. she purrs loudly. She bites me then licks it so it will feel better.
As I write, she just fell off the dresser.

She is fine.

I opened the sliding door in the garden room and now she is on her pillow, keeping an eye out for any roving chipmunks.
Good thing we have that covered. Now about the deer, foxes, snapping turtles and snakes.
I guess Winter will take care of most of those.
Either that or they will all move in. You never know.

I love this time of year so much and yet it fills me with dread, having gone through last winter, grieving, alone, trapped by many feet of snow and sort of worst of all ... no one to talk to.

If I were trapped here with my husband, we would have had a great time...snug on cold nights, cooking warm winter meals on cold nights, snuggling...

If I were here trapped with one of a few friends that I can think of, we would have had fun..jabbering girly fun...

If I were trapped here with one or both children and grands and the perfect daughter in law, we would have had fun and come out in the Spring a few pounds heavier.

I have invitations to visit various people in Florida.
I don't know. I am not sure how good a guest I would be.
I am used to my own home or a hotel. I don't make a habit of staying at other peoples homes.
It is never really that comfortable. . when I was around 20 .. my best friend and I worked for a movie star. (I was living in Hollywood at the time) .. he was spoiled and she treated him like a King.
He gave us his car ( Cadillac convertible) to go do his banking for him.
We would stop and have very long lunches at cafes along Sunset Strip.
We would hang out with people that you used to see in the movie theatre.
We even hung out with someone you saw on the news ..
Once I had to pick up a client at the airport and bring him back to the office .. I was informed that I would be the clients chauffeur for the few days that he was going to be in Hollywood.
This is how I met Sonny Barger.
Yeah ... Hells Angels.
He liked me. He was polite and nice and never scared me.
Of course, at that age, not much scared me. Especially an old guy who rode a motorcycle .. (what did I know ? I was clueless)

And now, here I am , all these years later.
Alone. With a kitten. Surrounded by farms and forests and chipmunks and various cattle and horses and don't forget the sheep !
It has been a year next week.
I might have to make a decision some day.
Or not.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Make a Difference

Feeling like you made a difference:
I read an article about a young girl who was raped.
She was going to be publicly flogged for "fornication" ..  She was 15 years old !!
She was raped.
This is in the Maldives.
Somewhere I would think twice about ever visiting .
Thanks to a huge campaign to stop this from happening, people from across the world signed a petition, spoke to top Islamist scholars  and thankfully ,  she was spared.
But only she was spared, the law is the same, they  will flog a female who is raped..
It took a lot of work, persuasion and money to do this ... and millions of signatures , two million to be exact , 2 million signatures to stop this dreadful wrongful punishment.

Now we have to end it ... save and protect all the women, young and old.

AVAAZ ... read about them. See what a difference they are making .

Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Weekend

The Weekend:
My weekends seem to go in Stages:
Pre-weekend ....  Plan meals.  Think of something that I have not made yet, something that was made before and got rave reviews, consider the easiest fastest meals that allow more playtime with baby.

Shop for food. Forget list, think of things as I go, totally change menu.

Pre-cook whatever is possible. Baking is good and always appreciated . Hope no one minds a bit of sugar ...I live on sugar and I am doing well so far.
and caffeine .. 
and chocolate.

Shop for food. Pre-cook whatever is possible.... less time in the kitchen is more time playing with the baby.
Clean house.

Think of something that might be fun to do besides cook and wait tables ... there must be some event up here that will appeal to all. This is hit or miss so far.
I am appreciative and content to just stay home with them, it is a completely different experience from my usual staying home ... alone.
Minette is thrilled, she is sick of me.

Shopping for food is always fun, I go to places I really like, farm stands etc and the people that run them and work there are especially nice.
 I get to talk to someone other than Minette so I am happy.
And I am eating more healthy than I think I ever have in my life.
I don't eat meat ... I quit eating chicken ... now except for salmon once in a while, I am a Vegetarian !
It just evolved and I find it easy and there is nothing I crave.
( chocolate doesn't count)

My husband would love it ... he was a vegetarian when I met him.
Then he started eating fish with me, I quit eating red meat when I was pregnant with the Boy.
So I have not eaten red meat in 30 + years.
My husband was healthy ... his cause of death was not illness .. I might call it death by doctor.
But he was always healthy and claimed it was because of his diet.
He might have been right.

So the trees are changing colors and the geese fly over honking and the Cattle up the hill are looking more shaggy than ever.
The llamas and sheep are looking wooly too ..

The farms are all mowing their fields and bringing in the hay.
I think of winter and snow and figure that I lived through the last one, I will know what to expect and how to manage if it happens again.
( Continental Airlines non-stop - Florida or Argentina ...  )

I am going to get my warm sweater on and a pair of boots and go rake leaves.
It is better than taking a walk ... good for the heart and you have nice results to look at after ...

The chipmunks are all my best friends forever ... I took a small bag of peanuts in the shells that was in the cupboard and tossed them out in the back yard ... just call me Lady Bountiful. or Our Lady of the Chipmunks ... or The Nut Lady ..

Thursday, October 9, 2014

What else can you do ... throw the ball

Minette thinks she is a dog.
She plays with a little ball with a bell inside. Then she brings it to me and drops it at my feet, so I will throw it for her.
I just threw it. She made a few odd sounds .. she talks a lot ! and then she trotted after the ball.
If I don't pay attention to her, she kicks the ball, throws the ball, punts it into the bedroom or living room and makes odd not quite howling sounds.
She is an odd little thing.
I am so crazy about her.

She bites.
I was holding her in my arms. She bit my arm and made a neat little hole in me.
I said Ow !! Don't Do That !!
She reached up to my face with her little paw and patted me.
Then she washed my arm.

I don't know about you but in my book, she said I'm sorry Mama.

She has finally graduated from sleeping in her crate ( a small dog kennel) at night to sleeping on my bathrobe at the foot of the bed.
The bed is plenty big enough .. we don't bother each other. I am hoping she will start sleeping past 6 am though. My days are long enough.
The bedroom in Buenos Aires  .... I loved that room. I slept like a baby ..

I have had a rough week. A beloved member of my family -in- law, died suddenly.
One of those sorts of people that you stop and think ... did I ever see him Not smiling ?
did he ever say a harsh word to anyone ? did he know how much he was loved ?
I think he knew ..

A little too much sadness and loss these days .

I am thinking about taking Minette and going somewhere .. I have no further ideas than that.
If I could go back in Time .. I would be packing right now.

But instead, I have to go throw the ball for Minette some more.
She is tiny but she can really be a big nag ... maaama ... maaaaa maaaaa.. throw the baaall.
nag nag nag...

Monday, October 6, 2014

I Miss It

This is Avenida Libertador.
This was 2 blocks from my front door.
What you don't see in the photo is the miles of parks on either side. And the huge pink Musuem on the right, the Belle Artes.
The lake built just for little children and their fathers to sail boats on.
The babies playground which is fenced in and has very small , new and improved swings and equipment and plenty of benches for nannies and moms and dads.
There was no dog park, there should have been but maybe that will come along eventually. The dogs could use their own park .. instead, lazy dog walkers would take a dozen or so dogs to the park, tie them to a tree or fence then go drink mate with a friend , smoke something and take a nap. While the dogs sat/lay around the tree, waiting to be walked.
Sometimes they barked .. non-stop. There were days that the contest was who was loudest and most annoying, the dogs tied to a tree or the taxis honking at everyone on the road.
But most days, it was peaceful ... or as I learned, the peaceful you expect in Buenos Aires.
I miss it.

Those tall buildings are apartments, then you are in Palermo Botanico. Where the Japanese Gardens are .. the Botanical Gardens .. a lovely place to live and spend time. I miss it.

If I went back, and could find nothing in Recoleta, my old neighborhood, I would not mind, at all, living in Palermo Botanico. To stroll to a cafe, have a coffee, wander through the Botanical Gardens .. or have tea in the afternoon in the Japanese Gardens, perhaps bringing home a plant from their little garden shop. I did that when we lived there ... the plant now resides in the garden of our apartment building. I wonder if it misses me.

There were Museums all along the Avenue .. my favorite was the Belles Artes but there was the Glace .. which used to be an ice skating rink ... a large white , round building, that has new exhibits all the time and is very interesting . You walk around the ground floor, up the stairs to the top where you walk around and in the middle you can look down, to the ground floor .. I miss it.

At the end of our street, 2 blocks from our door, is the Recoleta Cultural Center and the parks.
We were there pretty much every day, whether it was to walk Pup or to go to the museum or Cultural Center or to shop or to eat ... there is the  Hard Rock Cafe and shops and places to just look out over the parks and take photos and soak in the atmosphere ..
It was a short cut to the other side of the park and a good spot for people watching, lunching, sitting on a bench and talking ...
We were married for about 100 years and we still had so much to say to each other .. we were always interested in what the other had to say .. he always made me laugh, I always tried to make him laugh .. we went well together.

And we went well with Buenos Aires. I miss it.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Calling All Angels

Trixie and Texas

They were found by a landfill. They were taken to a Kill Shelter. Their time is almost up.
Isn't there someone out there who would like to be an angel ?

call : 803 596 8046

Save them please .
Even if someone adopted them and got them out of the Kill shelter, then found a home for them would be good. Angels, calling all Angels.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Sundays in Palermo Soho

On a Summer Sunday, we would grab a Taxi outside the door and scoot over to Palermo Soho where we would have brunch, shop, look in every single window ( or as many as I could before I was dragged away) , go to galleries, parks, stop for drinks and people watch and shop some more.

I enjoyed the place as much as the things we did ... the architecture is what I dream of still.. the French influence, the age of everything, there were cobblestone streets that were terrible for walking on and noisy for cars to drive over but they were SO charming !

Balconies were laden with plants and flowers bloomed everywhere .. as did graffiti.
I always liked the idea of the police catching the vandals and making them spend weeks cleaning the buildings ..

There were shops that only sold handbags. My version of Heaven.
There were all styles, colors, shapes and sizes. The leather was always soft as .. well .. soft.
The colors were lovely, the styles always current.
The styles whether in clothing, shoes or handbags, in Buenos Aires, were according to Europe, not the US.
So I often bought an outfit in Buenos Aires, that was just coming out in Paris, that was not even heard of yet in New York.
I liked that. I am shallow..

When we visited Buenos Aires, I bought bags for myself and for  my daughter and that trend continued once we moved there.
I have bags in my closet that whisper to me, señora, me llevan hoy !! Carry me today !! And I   give in .. The sheep at the farm on the hill admire them, the boy at the supermarket commented on one, it is a bit big, isn't it ? The lady at the pharmacy loved one .. the color ! where did you get it ?
I used to get a kick out of saying Buenos Aires ...  recently more than one person has asked me "Where ?  where is that ? "...  sigh ~

The kitten especially likes the big soft black bag that looks like something Mary Poppins would carry .. she climbs inside and naps.
I worry one day I will stick my hand in my bag to get my wallet out and a kitten will pop out instead.
that will give the checkout lady a chuckle for the day ..

well, gotta go ... the bags are all neat and in their spots, now for the shoes. Seasons change, sandals have to go to bed and the boots have to come out ... sigh ... it is Spring in Buenos Aires .. all the new shoes and handbags are in the stores ..

Mishka, Buenos Aires ..


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