It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Thoughts on Now and Back Then

In case you wondered what it looked like around my home these days ... the wind is blowing away all the colorful leaves, the grass is still green and there are a lot of shrubs that are a bright yellow so it is not that dreary.

I spend a lot of time daydreaming.
Daydreaming of trips to Argentina.
Daydreaming of trips to England.
Daydreaming of finding a Time Machine and going back. Not far ... just about a year or two.

Minette is insane.
As any self respecting kitten should be. She will be napping one minute and running like her tail is on fire the next .. she purrs loudly. She bites me then licks it so it will feel better.
As I write, she just fell off the dresser.

She is fine.

I opened the sliding door in the garden room and now she is on her pillow, keeping an eye out for any roving chipmunks.
Good thing we have that covered. Now about the deer, foxes, snapping turtles and snakes.
I guess Winter will take care of most of those.
Either that or they will all move in. You never know.

I love this time of year so much and yet it fills me with dread, having gone through last winter, grieving, alone, trapped by many feet of snow and sort of worst of all ... no one to talk to.

If I were trapped here with my husband, we would have had a great time...snug on cold nights, cooking warm winter meals on cold nights, snuggling...

If I were here trapped with one of a few friends that I can think of, we would have had fun..jabbering girly fun...

If I were trapped here with one or both children and grands and the perfect daughter in law, we would have had fun and come out in the Spring a few pounds heavier.

I have invitations to visit various people in Florida.
I don't know. I am not sure how good a guest I would be.
I am used to my own home or a hotel. I don't make a habit of staying at other peoples homes.
It is never really that comfortable. . when I was around 20 .. my best friend and I worked for a movie star. (I was living in Hollywood at the time) .. he was spoiled and she treated him like a King.
He gave us his car ( Cadillac convertible) to go do his banking for him.
We would stop and have very long lunches at cafes along Sunset Strip.
We would hang out with people that you used to see in the movie theatre.
We even hung out with someone you saw on the news ..
Once I had to pick up a client at the airport and bring him back to the office .. I was informed that I would be the clients chauffeur for the few days that he was going to be in Hollywood.
This is how I met Sonny Barger.
Yeah ... Hells Angels.
He liked me. He was polite and nice and never scared me.
Of course, at that age, not much scared me. Especially an old guy who rode a motorcycle .. (what did I know ? I was clueless)

And now, here I am , all these years later.
Alone. With a kitten. Surrounded by farms and forests and chipmunks and various cattle and horses and don't forget the sheep !
It has been a year next week.
I might have to make a decision some day.
Or not.

1 comment:

  1. I don't enjoy staying with friends, while out of town either. A hotel is a must and I won't even share a room with anyone. My friends are all aware how I treasure my privacy. Thankfully, they feel the same way. Hopefully, this Winter will be easier on you. Now, you have your precious little darling, Minette.


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