It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

If I was there ....

This was my street.
If I was there today, I would be walking down 2 blocks to the park. Where I would sit and listen to music, there was always a musician or two playing music.
Then I would wander over to the Belle Artes Museum and even if there was nothing new , I would enjoy the collection that is there.
After that , I would wander through the Recoleta Cultural Center then have a bite at the Hard Rock Cafe. They make good french fries.

See that man standing there ? that was our Porter.
I miss him too.
First thing in the morning, he would be mopping all the floors and stairs, they were marble.

He would polish the elevator .. it was brass and iron, the old "cage " style.
Later in the day, he would slide our mail under our kitchen door.

Our first Porter was an elegant man named Pedro.
He   looked like a debonaire Tango dancer .. actually ... he was .
He would look all spiffy at the end of the day, leaving to go have dinner and dance.
He retired while we lived there and we got the young one.
Totally different but very nice.

In the early days of Buenos Aires, a man named Carlos Thays came along and designed the parks and had a gazillion Plane trees planted.
Today the trees line the streets and parks.
The tree in front of our building, was right outside our living room window.
So in that noisy busy city, we could see tree leaves and branches and every Spring, a little doves nest in the tree outside our window.
                                                         Looking up at the balconies

One year the doves made a nest in one of my plants on the balcony.
For months, no one was allowed out there, my plants died of thirst but we had a nest full of babies.

I had a window box put in the kitchen window .. a metal one that the pots would sit in ... we had the same thing happen there, a dove nursery.

Waking up to that cooing was lovely.

Yes, every day I miss Buenos Aires, I miss our apartment and our friends.
I am going to have to do something about that.

Monday, September 28, 2015

A Dog Named Murdock

A Dog Named Murdock

I would adopt him tomorrow but there is the small matter of the 2 cats that live here.

Share this with your friends, get this poor boy a home .. some love.. be an angel.

How can we just sit and do nothing ?

One Green Planet 

Imagine a world without Rhinos ! Elephants ... lions  !
If we do nothing and allow this sort of thing to happen, the world will be without Rhinos and Elephants and Lions and a myriad of other animals that share the planet with us.
How could we not do something ?
Why would we not do something ?
Who would not do something to change this ?

Change the world .. it is actually easy.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Equal Time

Minette felt that Merlin was getting more attention and that she should be recognized also.
She is my baby girl .
We are having a peaceful day ..

Beauty Sleep

Merlin getting his Beauty Sleep.

There are soft cat beds and cushy cushions all over the house.
He just discovered this one today - after I put him in it.
He was cautious and sniffing it out last I looked, when I came through the room later, there he was , sound asleep.

Look at those whiskers .!

Friday, September 25, 2015

Over The River and Through The Woods

To Grandmothers house we go ~
Those trees are changing color now.
Soon then will be bare and this wonderful color photo will be a black and white photo.
I walk each day in the neighborhood and try to memorize the color and just amazing beauty of where I live. Things can change, sometimes unexpectedly. Life is always full of surprises.

I have so many photos of so many places and people.
They can be a great comfort sometimes.
They are good reminders .. Appreciate where you are and what you have now. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.

I have not seen my grand baby in over a month, apparently he has a busy social calendar and places to go, people to see. I am hoping for a visit soon.
He needs to meet Merlin and he needs to remember who I am.
And I need to see him. It is part of the job !
You know, Grand Mothering ?
You have to see the grand babies to grandmother them .. sheesh... I thought everyone knew the basic rules !

Today I will work on the garden a bit , putting things to bed for the winter, weed wacking things because I sold the lawnmower !! lol ... I don't care.
Nothing stays the same ... everything changes ...

Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Park

This is the park where we walked our dog  each day.
Where we would sit on summer nights and listen to music ..from various musicians .. all good.
Where we would have our picnic lunches sometimes.
Where Pup ran loose and free and silly with other dogs.
Where we were so happy.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Happy Autumn

                         The Autumnal Equinox is Tonight !

The Neighbors

They are actually excellent neighbors. 
Quiet, never know they are there at night.
Stay to themselves, not much for partying . . although there have been stories about late night Tom Foolery. 
The horse stays mum on it all, he is the best Keeper of Secrets that I know. 
Believe me, I have tried to get him to tell me stuff but ... just as well, I have told him a few things too, things that I wouldn't want the world to know.  
Now the sheep .. I don't think I would trust them . or the goats, definitely not the goats.
Stick with the horse .. 

Monday, September 21, 2015

A Bit of Adorable

I don't know about you but right now, I think there are very few things as adorable as a baby sloth.
Yes, Baby Sloth !!

it is an orphan so they make a fake mama for them to snuggle up to.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

A Point of View

I used to look at photos like this and daydream of not living in a noisy city with a million cars and tall buildings as a view but quiet, bird song, vistas with no other buildings, cars or people in them.

Now I have that.

I sure do miss seeing the people on the street and the other buildings ! 

Laughing at myself .

Thursday, September 17, 2015

A Lovely Way To Start The Day

Every day we walked to this park at the end of our street and the dog would do his business and we would walk and chat or sit on a bench and chat and  people watch.
Behind the statue, is the Belle Artes Museum.

It was the first walk of the day , each day.
It was a lovely way to start the day.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

I Don't Have To go

Today was just sad.
It was beautiful. Sunshine and cool. Lots of birds making noise and a few geese flying over .. headed Down South.

I was almost headed down South.
I was selling the house and on my way ... not quite sure where but definitely South.

Then something funny happened.
Someone made an offer on my house.
I accepted.
I had instant regret.

Apparently so did the buyer.
Two days of angst and sadness and I got the call, she backed out.
I got my house back!

I don't have to decide where to go in a hurry.
I don't have to go somewhere that is just easy but not especially what I want.

I don't have to go !

I might though. There is still the knowledge that the house is expensive to keep, the winters here are long and cold and I am not driving South with 2 cats for a winter break.

My heart and my thoughts keep drifting back down to Argentina.
I really need to go back .. one more time .. maybe.
To see if it is that bad without my husband with me.
I have friends there .. I can remember some Castellano ... they like cats .

I really need a trip back to either Get over it or make a decision.

I have no friends here.
I love my neighbors but they are all elderly and have a few problems of their own.
I love the area ... I love driving to the market, with vast vistas of mountains across the river, forests and fields and meadows and horses and cattle and sheep and llamas and all that makes this area of New York State so very beautiful.

If I were not alone, it would be perfect.
But cats are only so much comfort.

So .. tomorrow I am going to call the man that I sold my lawnmower to and ask him if he will come mow my lawn LOL
And I will call the Energy company and ask why my bill is already so high .. the heat isn't on, there is usually only one room with lights on at night .. what in the world ??
If it is high now- what happens when it is actually winter and cold out ?
This is why moving elsewhere is a good idea.
IF I have somewhere to move to.

The cats are still mulling over the choices I gave them.
While I gave them both their manicures tonight.

Merlin purrs.
Grumbles a little but it is like giving a manicure to a dust mop ..
Minette, allows one or two claws to be cut then sinks the rest into me and says Enough !
I managed to get them all cut tonight with only 2 scratches and she only got one thump on the head.
But after I was through, I tackled her, rolled around on the floor with her while she meowed then kissed her and she purred.
Merlin just opened one eye to see what the fuss was about then went back to napping and purring.

Checking the Important Things First

Upon arrival to our new home, in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

The Bees

Life is funny.
One day you are just hanging around, waiting ... for all sorts of things.
Then you just change. Your mind changes, your way of seeing things changes and life in general changes.
You have a better outlook or at least a more clear outlook.
You might have learned by experience or you just suddenly saw things in a different light.

Then, just as you have settled down and decided Things are going to be OK ... you go out into the sunroom and open the window for the cats and you notice yet another big bee buzzing around.
Inside a room that is locked up tight.

Later in the day, standing at the kitchen window, you notice bees flying past the window !!

After a little homework and a bit of exploring, It is discovered.

Wasps are "hiving" in the siding of my home.

I do not have to describe the horror and not small amount of worry and fear this brought.
right on the heels of my decision to not sell the house and stay here.

So thank goodness, upon googling exterminators, I came across the Bee Experts !!!

One of them will be here at 11 am and please god, bring a lot of bee spray Larry !

So one of them was in the garden room again.
Cats are still confined to the rest of the house with me.

To Be Continued :

Bees Be Gone !
The nice bee killer was here and did his job. It seemed to be very very thorough.
He will come back and check and is confident he got everything.
They were building a hive.
They got powdered and sprayed.
None had gotten into the house/basement.
Those that were out for the day will come home and die.

He will check on me .. this job was guaranteed until December 31st ! wow .. what bee would be out in winter up here ?? but that is great anyway.

So the cats are chasing each other. I am not sure if it is fun or not.
I am off to buy sweet things. I am craving those little cinnamon rolls they sell at the market.

Happy Weekend !

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Looking Back ..

With all this drama over buying , selling, backing out , real estate , I got *even more* homesick for Buenos Aires.
So here is a photo of our living room, as seen in the big mirror on the wall.
You can get an idea of why I am still a wee bit "homesick" for that home we had , in that city we loved. Yes, we brought everything back with us but the chandeliers.
I sure hope I can go back again for at least a visit. 

I Don't Know How To Say This ...

The house is not sold.
The buyer backed out.
I don't have to move.
I wanted to move.
But now I don't.
When I realized there was no one place that I really wanted to be ( besides Buenos Aires) I started feeling sad ... I was grasping at straws concerning where and why etc.

I was sitting on the floor , wrapping my treasures in Bubble Wrap.
The phone rang.

My world changed.
All the plans and worries and concerns ended ... right there.

I still have to be able to afford the house and everything but I can do it and when the timing is right and everything isn't a pain in the arse to manage, will be the time to go elsewhere.

So I am not at all sad. It never seemed quite right from the beginning.
The reasons were alright but I didn't have my heart in it.

I am so relieved and happy today.
No one is allowed to spoil that .. No One.

Thank you everyone who has been so encouraging and full of great advice and moving tips and location ideas. I am keeping them all. Because ... You Never Know ~

yay !!! we don't have to move !!
The back of the house looking out over an acre of gardens and trees.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Dear Readers

Today is full of Anxiety.
Some days , even when I am not supposed to be packing, moving, making plans, figuring out Things.. I wake up anxious.
Since my husband died, with no warning, I am anxious very often.
Rudderless, untethered, in the dark ... you can call it whatever you want .. for 40 + years I was with a man who just knew things. He knew how to do everything and what to do and when and who to talk to. He could figure problems, numbers, everything .. In His Head ... right there on the spot. He could give you an answer.
Sometimes, like considering moving to Argentina.. He had been thinking about it way before he mentioned taking a trip there. He had been looking at magazines , we would wander over to Powells Book Store and I would head to Vogue or House Beautiful and he would be looking at Travel Magazines.
So one day , sitting in our apt, looking out at Portland, petting Tate ... he said , how would you like to go to Buenos Aires.
I was surprised, we never spoke of it before. So I started reading the magazines and the more I read the more it appealed to me.
Luckily we had a neighbor who had lost one of his 2 sweet old Labradors and he was all for hosting Tate while we were away.
I worried about that, Tate had never been away from us overnight, he was my baby, a Mama's Boy.
My husband told me he would be fine and I knew he loved Tate too so I listened to him.

We spent 10 days .. 10 fabulous, fascinating, exciting and beautiful days and nights in Buenos Aires.
We made friends ... who are still my friends today.
It only made sense that we should move there and live.
We lived a lovely life and Tate was a happy pup.

When Tate died, a little bit of the light was gone but we were still very happy there.
Then we heard that a new member was expected in the family.
My husband wanted to return Home.

I am so glad he was able to be here for the arrival of that little baby boy.
I am so glad he was so happy in this house, riding around on that damned John Deere.. grinning like a silly boy .. Look Ma ! I'm mowing the lawn !
The man who lectured at Harvard, who sat down and discussed things with all kinds of people whose names you know .. who was mentioned in a book. . getting the biggest kick out of driving a John Deere Lawn mower.

And I sat and watched him and smiled.
I smiled all the time , when he was here. There was no reason not to.

It will be 2 years on October 20 th since he left us. I have lived for almost 2 years with part of my heart missing .. it is time to leave here. To move on. A new location. A new life. New memories to make . New friends and views ..

I am in the beginning stages of packing.
I already want to run away and leave it all behind.
But the cats and I with Bubble wrap will get it all done and thanks to the help of family members.. I should be leaving here in a little less than a month for the South.

I will post if I have time, you know where I am if you want to send an email ...

besitos ... C

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The Next Chapter

It's done.
The movers are hired, the date is set.
I have to tell the cats. It won't really mean anything to them until they find themselves sitting in a big crate together .... together ?????? they may never speak to me again.

I am moving to Jacksonville Florida.
I have lived there before.
I sort of know the place.
I just don't have the energy or the ambition to shop for a town to live in.

Today was a day of fixing things and giving things away.
I am drained from having to replace a lovely antique light fixture from Argentina with a little cute milk glass light fixture from New York .
My light fixtures are all special and they all go with me.
In this house though, all the rooms have lights with fans. So they stay.
Drained from having to make such decisions alone.
Drained from the thought of that drive ..

I have bubble wrap and tape and a few boxes.
Tomorrow The Fun Begins.

It is so pretty here.
I will miss it quite a lot.
So many memories in such a short time.
Such life changing events in such a short time.

The Next Chapter awaits ..........

Monday, September 7, 2015

Mothers & Babies


Get out the hankies !

Monday Monday ....

So Monday started out at Emergi-med with heart palpitations.
They wanted to give me drugs but those are just going to give me other problems, I just wanted to be sure the heart is ok.

The Heart  - She is OK :)

The nerves, they are pretty much kaput. ( sorry for using so many medical terms).

So I am getting no help with the packing , I am getting no help with the moving and I am going to do it all alone and as my sweet friend Chania said, when I am finished with all of this- I will be proud that I did it . and lived through it.

So I have the cats and myself to worry about and be concerned about.

Calling movers for estimates.
Taking the car to the shop to be sure it is in tip top shape for a long drive.
Checking with the hotels that I plan on staying in ... no driving at night !

and let me say one thing here ....
THANK YOU to everyone who has been encouraging and kind and tried to be helpful and who were helpful.
Sometimes, you have to be there to know what I am talking about and I appreciate those who have not been there but still send sweet encouragement.

No thanks to those who offered help but then when asked about it, told me they were busy.
No thanks to those who throw off thoughtless and not always kind notes/emails.
Remember what your mother said ... If you can't say anything nice - s t f u.

What ? your mom didn't say that ?
Neither did mine :)

I am now contacting movers and figuring out who sounds the best.
Some of them sound like used car salesman talking to the little lady ..
If my son were not so busy, I would ask him to do it .. let a man get some results.
But no, I am doing it on my own.

Well, with 2 cats.
Who decided to get territorial over who slept on which side of the bed and when I reached out to pat one, I got smacked !!! ungrateful little wretches.
But they both made up for it this am with sweet snuggles ( of course they were hoping for food, I just wanted a moment of sweetness)

So thank you for the kind words and good luck wishes, you know who you are. I will just be off on a different kind of adventure.
(unless I can put the car on the moving truck and fly with the cats )
one last idea.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Day 2

If I make it through this packing, moving , traveling, unpacking, finding a home with 2 cats .. I will be so proud of myself. So shocked that I lived to tell the tale. My head might explode .. read my will to see who gets the cats.

I interviewed a mover.
He was nice, the price was high, but they might be high anyway- It has been years since I have moved from New York to Florida.

He is with a typical US moving company.
Same as the rest probably.

Then I talked to a  company I saw online.
I was intrigued.
They are definitely Not a typical US moving company.
They are appealing I must say.
The cost is being figured I think, a guess right now, someone has to actually be here and do a true estimate.
But the guess is right in line with the Other mover.

They are more appealing. I want someone for less. I can feel my blood pressure rising. I don't know what to do ( don't write and tell me. I am being obstinate these days, I don't want anyone emailing me and giving me advice. )

What was cool/creepy was the movers in NY ( non-typical) went online and looked at realtor. com and he was able to see the ad for my house, the furniture and get a better idea of what I am moving !
How Cool Is That ?!

They will no doubt be the most expensive.
Cuz I want to use them.

I am boggled by the details....
Have car check up before hitting the road.
maybe not going to have company on the drive so I will be all alone from NY to Fl. This makes me so sad.
Cats will be with me .. never fear. They are not allowed out of my sight. I am clingy.

All the things to do here. . closings and moving and packing and getting out on time and not forgetting anything or anyone ! and just everything.

So there is a possibility I won't be posting, won't be posting much, will never post again .. will not know who I am so how can I post ?? will they have internet at the asylum? then I might post.

So there you have it.
I have to go make a list.
So I can lose it and find another.
Those poor people who bought the house, they will open the door and be buried under all my lists.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

What a Day !

The first of the movers came to give me an estimate.
He didn't  know much .. he was just happy to sit on the sofa with the air conditioning and ask me questions and try to figure out where is Argentina.

Then he told me a few facts.
The more he told me, the less I wanted this company to pack and deliver my belongings .

I got no sense of security that this company would care if they broke my dining room table or chairs, he showed a little too much interest in some of the art and had a nice moment of trying to talk me into making a deal right now, on the spot, let's do it !

So then I got mail that freaked me out until I made a phone call and realized that that mail no longer applies to me. Someone else gets to deal with it.

A decision has been made though.

I definitely want a dog when I get moved .

lol ... enough of this talk about movers and lawyers and ugly realtors, no more panic attacks .. let's rent a pretty condo in Florida and laugh all winter long.
Lets settle the kitties into their new nest then when they think life is just grand, let's give them a puppy to play with.

I veer from small cute little things to nice big protection types.
I grew up with German Shepherds.
During my marriage we had 2 Standard Poodles. Tate was so much more than a dog. Any of you reading this knows exactly what I mean.

My cats are my babies but it would be nice to walk a dog. Have a dog make a sound or show me in some way that there is a person outside the door .. window .. whatever.

So as soon as I have packed, which is kind of what I should be doing now, the mover will be chosen, they will take my stuff to Florida and I will be right behind them.
Kitties and dreams held close.

I look forward to more happy stressless days than days like this.

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sunset in Buenos Aires