It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Thursday, January 19, 2017


Relative to my earlier blog post, I would like to clarify and address the word "pain" and the point I wanted to make ..

Of course I have been in pain, heartbroken, sad and alone since my husband died suddenly... due to a doctor doing the wrong thing and that one small thing, ended a happy and lovely life.

But since then, I have mourned and missed my best friend and love and I have struggled perhaps a bit more than some to find a semblance of a new ordinary life .
Our life was not that "ordinary" ... my husband had fabulous friends all over the world, we went on wonderful trips, we did things that some people envied, some people scoffed at and for us, our lives were ours, to live the way we wanted to and to enjoy every moment of.
Our children had a similar way of looking at life, we liked to take some credit for that.
They are fearless ... they are smart and of course, they take after their father !

I have thanked a few friends who stood by me, comforted me and did what they could to help me get through those darkest saddest days.

Now here is where things get bizarre and too weird for me to even begin to try to figure it out.
I will only tell what happened and then forget the whole thing .. the people involved and go on with my life happier than they are ... because no one that behaves like these people, is a happy person.
They like to share their misery and they like to inflict their pain and lack of something important missing in them. Not so much in their lives but these people themselves lack something .. perhaps it is humanity .. I don't know and I am not going to waste my time or thoughts on it or them.
Because these people are Worthless. They bring pain, not joy .. pain not laughter.. they are worthles people. Scrape them off the bottom of your shoe and have a good life ..

I had a "friend" .. we exchanged emails for years.
She has a lovely husband who works hard for his family, a daughter and a son.
The daughter seems lovely and smart, especially since she went to school in Europe and is not coming back to the US so fast, the better for her, away from the ugly influence of her mother.
The son had his problems but with AA and therapy, I think he has a chance.. perhaps if he avoids his mother for a while he will have an even better chance.

One day, out of nowhere, I received an ugly, mean, derisive, mocking and hateful email from her.
I thought at first , in shock at what I read ... that she was drunk or on drugs.
Then I thought about it and I realized that she was always like this - I was just not a target .. for whatever reason, she turned on me. It was like having a little pet dog that is cute and funny and one day it bares its teeth and goes after your throat.
So I put her down. LOL
I will never mention her again and after some time, I will delete this post and never think of her again..

But this is a good warning for people out there who have e-pals .. online friends .. people you really don't know, you only are in contact with online .
She could be a crazy man in prison for all I know, making up his persona and having a good laugh with the other inmates.

So, children, the lesson I learned that I am sharing with you, no matter how convinced you are that a person is honest and genuine, kind or funny or "real" ... if you have not met them in person, talked to them, heard their voice ... you still don't know them.

Keep some things personal, to yourself ... don't give your precious thoughts away to unknown people.
99% of those people on the internet will be fine, but as in my case, you might come across some sicko.

Lesson over ... What are you doing for the weekend ? I might be packing :)


  1. I am sorry that you had this terrible attack by a person you thought was a friend – it must have really hurt you. I think you are giving us good advice – even though you may think an e-friend is truthful, you may never know for sure. Sometimes you can email someone for years, as you did, and suddenly they stop writing you for no reason as if they never cared (this happened to me too.) We need to just think of these events as learning experiences, but I am still sorry that you got hurt.

  2. Thank you dear , I will just look at it as yet another lesson in this new life I have and I will learn from it.
    And I am already looking at them as nothing that brought good to my life so who needs them ?? :)

  3. Packing???
    You are one tough cookie Candice...
    Good for you for "moving on" from the horrible email..
    I think you have done remarkably well...I would be a blob of jelly...
    For the love of sold a house and moved clear to Florida with 2 cats!!
    you are my hero....and can come and live with me...for a few days! hahaha!!
    Cheers!my friend..
    Linda :o)

  4. Linda, how does Upstate NY sound? or Buenos Aires?

  5. You are sharing good advice with us here, about not truly knowing someone and their heart when you have not met them in person. Good idea you are moving on and leaving them behind. I do have 3 pen pals I have not met in person and they seem like they do have truly good hearts.

  6. Sorry you had this happen to you, people can be mean and cruel with the anonymity of the internet. Hurtful words are compounded when we feel vulnerable & unable to share our experiences with our soul mate. Listen to your husbands words swirling round in your head, forget about them & dispose of any toxic relationship if you feel its disingenuous. Happy packing.

  7. Barbara, thank you ... So true and sad that there are people like that out in our world.
    Thank you .. I looked at a box today- I thought about packing ... that is as far as I have gotten today lol


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