It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Mean Girls

So last night , worn out from making lists, packing boxes and wishing my husband was here, I got emails.
Now usually emails cheer a person up, give them something to read and respond to .. you know , normal Stuff.

These were from 2 people that I have been emailing and laughing around with for years now, on another website and in emails .. I always thought of them as friends. Real life friends. Not scary fake "friends" on the internet .

But it turned out, that they were not just Not Friends but they hate me. They were abusive, cruel and just oozing hate.
At first I couldn't believe it ... man, am I gullible !
Then I thought there must be a misunderstanding, maybe an episode of Drinking While Emailing ... but no, they were serious.
What is horrifying ,is that this didn't just happen that minute, these people have not liked me for a long time, perhaps never .
They were full of hate.
One of them is going through a marital split .. that could account for a bad mood but not like this !
The other seemed to be along as sidekick.
The Hateful sidekick.
Coming from out of the blue, someone who sent me a gift when my husband died, now being hateful and cruel in emails.
I am very disillusioned and sad .. I am a crap judge of character.
Maybe I should have stepped back .. there must have been signs, their kindness was not genuine, how can you tell that online ??

So the moral of this story is ...
Never completely trust someone you have not actually met in person.
I trusted them completely.
But I never really met them.
Maybe that would have made a difference.
Maybe not.
I learned a sad and unpleasant lesson.

I won't be as open as I always was. I have no husband to back me up, no one to give me an opinion, no one to make me feel secure.
The one thing I don't need is 2 hideous people like that in my life, ever.

So be careful of who you trust online.
When people told me that, I said I know them, they this and that ... I was wrong.
I did not know them and now I hope I never do.


  1. Oh my goodness, how awful. The internet world can be brutal. I have been reading your blog since way back in Argentina and although I don't know you personally, you have always been nothing but charming and sweet. Your relationships with your husband , sweet dog and now cats has always seemed genuine and lovely. It doesn't matter why they are targeting you - no one deserves that kind of negative energy directed at them. You have such an interesting and exciting future right in your grasp - I hope you can find it in you to block these two horrible people out and embrace all the good things that are surely headed your way. I am rooting for you!

  2. Thank you, you are so kind .
    It broke my heart. It is like having your best friend , the one you knew would always be there for you, telling you to drop dead and mocking you. Except this was both of them. Both people I have loved for years, as friends and confidants .. and what makes it worse is thinking that they were acting all along, none of what they ever said or did was honest or sincere.
    It makes me sick to think I was so gullible. It breaks my heart to think I didn't know and set myself up to be treated so badly .
    From now on, I will be the most stand-offish person anyone ever met !

  3. Wow, I am sorry you have had to deal with such hatred. It is hard to understand why people turn on you like that. Perhaps it is an attempt to control you. I wish you wellas you move south and look forward to hearing about your ocean front condo!

  4. Thanks :) It was so out of nowhere, of course, that was me being comfortable and not suspecting how they really felt. Which is also kind of sick, if I don't like someone online, I certainly don't strike up an email friendship with them and pretend to like them. These are 2 sick-os ..

  5. marilyn , it did make me very glad that I don't live close to them ..

  6. Dont let daft sods upset u
    Most of us in blog land are rather sweet!
    And real!
    Enev though we all have faults
    Chin up sweetie

  7. I am so sorry this happened to you. It makes me sick to my stomach. I don't understand how some adults can behave in such vile and cruel behavior. Please know there are wonderful supportive folks out there.
    Try to just think forward about your new exciting life in Sunny Warm Florida-
    Sending You Hugs
    PS- it makes it worse they post on Fodors too

  8. John, I am sorry to inform you that You do Not have faults. Stop trying to be like the rest of us, face it , you are Perfect. And how glad that makes me.

    Wu .. thank you. Yes, it was nauseating. From out of nowhere is what also made it hard .. you know, you are standing and talking to a trusted friend and they reach out and just hit you in the face ... that was what happened. And this person is not stupid. Just cruel and two face I guess but not stupid.

    Fodors has its share of wackos but there are so many nice people there .. these two were on Fodors, that is how I met them. One of them sent me a beautiful gift after my husband died. How sick is that ??

  9. It's Very Sick!!
    I just hope these two witches are not regulars there.
    I sent you an email awhile ago telling you who I was on Fodors. I don't post much there though.

  10. I had to comment; I'm so terribly sorry to learn of this! Like you aren't coping with enough with the move and all. I hope the rest is smooth sailing, very much enjoy your blog. Sadly, some people just suck!

  11. Are these emails in addition to the ones you received earlier?

  12. Just one email , thank goodness, from 2 people. The people are both old "friends" .. people I have admired and liked and emailed with for years. I don't keep up as much most days because there is not that much to talk about once I have said I am packing today.
    It felt like I was punched in the stomach and the first thing I thought of was if only my husband was here. He could insult them so well and make me laugh. You know, things about losers who stay home at night and send ugly hate mail then pretend they are so kind to animals and have lovely relationships with their partners .. I never "fought " with these people. they were just online friends who were especially nice to me. My husband died, one of them sent me beautiful wind chimes ..the other gave me good advice, she had had loss in her past too. ... this was like having a brother or sister just hit you in the face ... we were close, we shared, I never saw it coming.
    I don't know if drinking , drugs or just hate fueled it.
    It makes me kind of sick to think people I have not actually met but that I got along with well, have such bad feelings.
    I do know the police are interested when anything threatening is said.
    And that is about it ..

  13. You are a sweet person who cares about animals and nature from what I can tell. I have had many lovely emails from you and consider you a friend. Hope that makes you feel better even though you have been hurt. I lost all my email contacts so can;t email you directly.


  14. Chania I will send you an email. Thank you. love you.

  15. I can tell you who it was in email but no on here .

  16. Not to be intrusive, I'd appreciate it if you sent me an email to let me know who it was too. Only if you feel comfortable doing that, if not I totally understand.

  17. A big hug from me. We will probably never meet, but I promise I will never be nasty to you.
    There are many lovely people on Fodors - it is how I came to know you, one of the really good guys there, and I have met a few who have been wonderful. I don't know which two are involved, but I am sorry they have done this to you. You don't deserve it. Nobody deserves it.
    Don't let them get you down, you are better than them.

  18. So sorry that this happened. You were taken advantage of because of your personal tragedy and were probably vulnerable.

    I think that many people on the internet and just not on Fodor's are "fakes" is easy for them to hide their true characters on line.

    You need to be careful and never agree to meet any of them in person. There are many tragedies due to meeting in person an online "friend".

  19. Thank you canada :)
    Anony, I emailed and got presents from these people over a span of years ... at least 5 .. There was no reason to ever expect such an awful email. I wanted to blame that they might be drunk or taking drugs but no .. they were just showing their true selves.
    Better I found out now. Better this lesson taught will be remembered. I will not trust so easily ever again.

  20. Wu- send me an email, I don't have yours.

  21. I hope you threw the damn windchime out. :)

  22. It will remain in the tree for someone else.
    love you, really do :)

  23. Love you too. Now go out there and kick some ass.

  24. Just remember: no matter what they are or how they treat you, you have no apologies to make for being kind and open. It's always better and those two traits are harder to come by every day. Protect yourself more, maybe, but don't shut down the essential you.

    If there is anything I hate about living in the world today, it is the ever-increasing level of hatred. What do people think? That being nasty is a recreational sport?

    The only way to combat it is with personal kindness and civility ... and, okay, maybe with the occasional shotgun or poisoned arrow. :)) Just kidding about that part. Hang in.

  25. Hmmmm ... a poisoned arrow ... no ... a shotgun .... no ... a hit man .... no .... not worth it :)

  26. Rafe, your comment was so kind and so dear. Thank you again. My daddy taught me to shoot a rifle when I was a little girl, around 10 I think. My husband got such a kick out of the fact that I won a prize at a turkey shoot at our local police department, years ago.
    He used to tease, saying he would buy me a handgun so I could protect him LOL

  27. :) Your husband sounds like a wonderful man - and, as I'm sure about a thousand people have told you, how lovely it is that you had those years with him.

    But you have brought up a serious subject here. The web has been great in giving us contacts that we never would have met otherwise, but it sure is a brave new world in how we handle them! :-/

  28. Rafe,if you have to deal with hateful people, at least I am in the fortunate position of being able to just block them. I don't live near them nor will I. So they can spread their misery somewhere else. I think what made it worse was my trust in them. Which is my fault .. I should have known better.
    A lesson learned.


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