It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Saturday .. cats and househunters

For the first time in a long time now , I woke up and lay there thinking my husband was still here.
The cats were quiet, I must have been sleeping after waking up to them wanting out of the bedroom ..  It was quiet , I just thought he was in the living room, reading the news like he used to do ..
Drinking his first cup of coffee, reading the news online, the curtains in the big bay window wide open .. sunlight coming in .. after a while, he would get up and bring me a cup of coffee, waking me with a kiss.

This is the way I woke up for 44 years.
I guess it is natural for an occasional dream, flashback .. refusal to wake up to reality ..

The realtor came alone with her sweet smile and ready laugh and the house hunters were all cheerful and friendly.. thank goodness. The cats stayed locked in my bedroom, the house hunters were impressed with the size of Merlin and loved the color of Minette.
They also really liked the house !
Sometimes people look and are very polite and nice and leave .. sometimes they will say something like , You have a lovely home . But these people were enthusiastic and chatty .. made me feel good..

The cats hung out .. Merlin slept in the window .. Minette on the sofa .. I never took my eyes off them .. I have this .. I guess some could call it .. Separation Anxiety ... Fear of losing them.
With people walking in and out and doors open .. it was nerve wracking. Finally I closed them in the garden room.
They hated it. It is cold out there . So now I am spending the day, Making it up to the cats.
They have me very well trained.

It is 4:15 ... the sun is setting. The grey sky has a hint of pink and all the bare trees make it look like  a beautiful pen and ink drawing. or Oriental brush painting ..

There are so many things I love about being here.
I guess the only thing I hate about being here is being so alone.

So ... hopefully ... a change will come soon.

Next hurdle .. driving alone to Florida with 2 cats in the car .. The companion I was supposed to have, that I counted on so much to be with me on that drive, backed out.

It's always something.
I am going to look into the Auto Train. with 2 cats. overnight .. I dunno ....

11 comments:

  1. Rainy day here...and tomorrow...perhaps you will get an offer on your house...
    I guess you dream a lot about your husband...I would too ♥️
    Enjoy your evening...
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So encouraging that someone looked and really liked the house. Sometimes, when you're the looker, it's hard, too -- you feel you should say something nice, because it is after all someone's home, even if it's not at all right for you.

    But when it clicks, it clicks. Hope a good offer comes in soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Linda, my grandmother told me when people come back in your dreams, they are visiting you .. that is the only way they can visit you. I admit to wishing that was true, that he wants to visit me.

    Almost everyone who has looked at the house, compliments it and thanks me. Mostly very polite and nice people. I am not supposed to be here, according the realtors rules .. but this girl works out of that same office, but she understands. The cats usually break the ice .. distant cool people looking at the house, suddenly become friendly and talk baby talk to my cats .

    ReplyDelete
  4. My Father died when I was 21...
    After I had married, and started having children, every so often he would come to me in a dream
    I felt that he was coming to see my children, and tell me that he was happy that I was happy...
    Make sense?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes, Linda, it makes absolute sense to me. I was told that when I dreamt of people I loved who had died (grandmother/uncle) that they were visiting me in my dreams, the only way they could visit )
    So it definitely makes sense to me and I will believe it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am the same way about Miss Twiggley. I always put her in the bedroom when work is being done or there are lots of people in the house. I am so afraid of her venturing out and loosing her. She might not like it, but she is safe and when I open the door she is snoozing on the bed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Let's hope those people really like your house! Enough to put in a good offer.

    If I were closer I would drive down to Florida with you. I love an adventure. If you hated me after day one you could always sneak off early and leave me behind!

    I admit I don't believe in an after life, but I too have had very comforting dreams of people who have died. Always a pang on waking and realising it was just a dream, but comforting nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete
  8. heti .. it would be fun. I am actually pretty light hearted most of the time.
    It would be an adventure, when it is more than one person. . When it is just one person it could be an adventure but then, it could be awful too lol
    I left behind the angels in heaven ideas in my childhood but I definitely believe in some kind of afterlife ..
    If we have souls... and the body dies, why should the soul not live on ? not like angels or ghosts but I don't know .. there is something that lingers ..

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've had such mornings, waking up thinking my loved ones who have long gone are still with me. Gives me a bittersweet feeling.
    How great you've had nice people visit to see your house. I hope things will go well!

    ReplyDelete
  10. If you can take the cats, take the auto-train. It is fabulous. I love it, have dont it 3 times.

    ReplyDelete
  11. angiemanzi ! I have thought about it, I was not sure if it would be a misery taking 2 cats on a train. I have never taken a long train trip. alone. with 2 cats :)
    Thank you !

    ReplyDelete

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