It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

An Inspector Will Call

I get emails that tell me people want to buy my house.

I feel sad.

I get an email telling me an inspector will look at the house .

I feel anxious.

I don't know if it is because I "cling" to the house as the last place I lived with my husband, that I am so unused to going on "adventures" alone,  that it is daunting to leave this house.
I don't want to be stuck in a house that constantly needs repairs and costs so much .. taxes are hideous.
But it is my home, the only one I have ... I am sad.

If there was something exciting I was going to ... a flat in Buenos Aires near the Museum .. I might be packing already. Teaching the cats Castellano.
But I sit here while Minette sleeps on top of the crate in her soft little pillow bed she got for the trip, and Merlin is tucked in on my bed .. he appreciates a good bed .. I think that comes with old age.

I am not excited, I am anxious.

I will start calling movers tomorrow.


  1. Candice
    I missed the last few days, so checking in tonight and found the great news about the house selling. I am so happy for you. I have rarely posted but have followed you struggles and have admired your honesty and good spirit. I wish you all the best going forward. You are a courageous woman and I'm not sure you recognize that in yourself. Thanks for sharing your journey. Looking forward to the new adventures.

    Barbara (from Guelph)

  2. I do imagine life without my husband sometimes, and I am sure that I would feel the same as you. How do I fill the tax forms in? how do I notify the people who pay our pensions? could I manage this large house and all the garden? I am sure that it must be a minefield.
    I do sincerely hope that 2016 may resolve many of the issues that you have been juggling with over the past couple of years.

  3. Barbara, thank you so very much.

    Rosemary .. Thank you .. yes, that first winter, taxes , bills, all the things I never had to think about .. while mired in grief. A horrible horrible time.
    I totally understand the "year of mourning" ... it takes at least a year for your brain to start working again ..and add shock to it .. I am lucky I had family and good neighbors.

  4. I would totally feel anxious too. Its hard sometimes to do it all on your own, overwhelming for sure!! Everything that is brand new is overwhelming, I will send you good vibes from the frozen North! :)

  5. Congratulations on the sale of your home. Get lots of audio books that are maybe funny for your ride. When I moved from SF to Arizona by myself with no animals for company this strategy saved me from negative thoughts on the way.! Nothing like a good story for the road. You are going to be very happy in your new adventure. I just know it.

  6. I'm like Rosemary, often thinking the same thing, it comes with age I guess. After being with the same good man for so long, relying on him for so many things which make the days easier and life better, perhaps being without him one day is incomprehensible. Then of course I get to thinking what if that scenario is reversed - how would he manage? Life has a way of throwing stuff like this at us all - we either sink or swim, that's how it goes. Hopefully your loved ones will help you 'swim' through this upcoming move dear Candice.

    Be strong - you can do it.
    Hugs -Mary

  7. Thank you for all the warm vibes you can spare, Mrs Duncan and thank you for the sympathy too :)

    Rosemary, it is lovely to be able to just hand Things over to someone and pay them to do it.
    I am getting the hang of it :)

    Because my husband was older than I by quite a few years, it was natural to let him continue to do his bookkeeping and business the way he always did and I was spared having to learn and do any of it myself. I married him when I was 21.
    And he had a mind like a calculator .. I had such envy.

    So now I hire someone to do it. I cannot even do that to myself.

    Inspectors etc have to come here and see the house and probably try to knock off a few dollars with imaginary things wrong with the floors or whatever .. my attitude these days is This is it.. take it or leave it. I am done with the anxiety over this. I can only be anxious about so many things at one time and for so long.
    Then I move on ... next will be ... The Drive to Fl with 2 Cats .. now that is something to be anxious about ! lol

    Mary .. my husband was a lot older than I, had been all over the world and knew how to do many things. I, the 20 year old .. was happy to sit back and enjoy life with him with no worries.
    Somehow, I think I will manage .. fingers crossed ! :)

    Audio books is a brilliant idea, I will do that definitely !

  8. Good luck with inspection Candice. They always try to find a few things to get money off. You haven;t had it long and made improvements so I am sure it will go well. What closing date do they ask for?

  9. I completely forgot (right now) what the closing date is but it is too soon.
    Like in Feb.


Thank you for your comments.... Trolls are being dealt with ... be patient if your comment does not show up immediately. Thanks !!

Blog Archive


And Don't Forget To Visit Me Here Too !

See more photos here

sunset in Buenos Aires