It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

It seems as if it was just yesterday

My husband and I walked everywhere while living in Buenos Aires. Miles a day.
We were both in fairly good condition, having been living in a city where we walked every day, but we went nuts in Buenos Aires !
We would start walking and talking and photographing and stop for a cup of coffee in a sidewalk cafe then continue, walking, talking and photographing.

When my son was born, my husband gave me my first camera.
I took  photos of the baby ... every single minute of his days for those first months .. then I started on the house, the children playing in the yard,   my daughters birthday parties and her friends.

Christmas and dogs and snow and beaches and holidays , it is all on film, in large boxes, that have traveled with us across the US and to South America and back.

I rarely take them out and look at them.

One day I plan on taking them and putting them in albums with dates and keep them in some order.
So the children can show them to their children and so and and so on .... or throw them away because they are old and boring to anyone else but us.

I stopped looking at our old photos... it is still too poignant for me to see his face, our happiness, remembering that time, those days, in our lives together.
But one day, when the pain is just a dull ache, I will sit and while away the hours, looking at those photos.
Looking at our lives.

I went from the first Polaroid Instamatic to sneaking his Pentax out of the closet and using it during the day, then surprising him with photos of what the baby and I did while he was at work.
He carried his camera with him when we went on trips, but somehow, I ended up using it more than he did.
( He took some pretty wonderful photos himself, he was an excellent teacher .. one of his photos is an album cover, and there are a few fashion models around today that were privileged to have him as their photographer. .. way before he met me )

One day he gave me a "real " camera ... no waving the photo in the air to dry. And my love of photography really took off.
By the time we went to Argentina, I had several movers boxes full of photographs.
We ended up spending a weekend, with take out food and chocolate and going through the boxes and culling the photos.
No one ever looked at them anymore..even if they were in albums.

He and I sat on the floor, surrounded by photos from our years together .. and some of his Before Me .. we laughed at the baby photos, at what a wickedly beautiful child our daughter was, how angelic and pretty our son was, they both look pretty fantastic now too  !

I had so many photos of cats and beloved dogs.
He had a photo of a car he bought when he went to London to live, he drove it to France and shipped it home to NY .

Photos of the children .. at the beach, Christmas, a 4 year old with his 8 year old sister, young teens all sleepy faced on Christmas morning.
Vacations, my daughter swimming like a fish in the pools in Bermuda, riding horseback in Jamaica, my first trip to London, my first trip to Paris, our first trip to Buenos Aires.
The cat we loved so much, who lived until he was 18.
Our dog, Tate or as he was known online "Pup" .. a chocolate brown Standard Poodle.
The Best dog, we agreed, that we had ever had .

So here I sit with Minette the kitten, my children are home, taking photos of their children, my daughter takes photos of her movie star cats too.

And it  seems as if it was just yesterday, he handed me his Nikon and said ... Go ahead, use it, take some photos ...

                                Buenos Aires skies

                                               In the neighborhood, Buenos Aires

                                               The view from our home.
And now I sit in a house in the countryside with several feet of snow on the ground.
Minette and I ...  it all seems as if it was just yesterday.


  1. I never realized Pup was a chocolate brown Standard Poodle, for some reason I thought he was black. That is what my sister's dog is! It is a funny story how she got him, they were definitely meant to be together. I too enjoy photography (amateur for sure) and my first real camera was a Pentax! I think I still have it somewhere. Photos are wonderful to look at when the time is right and they can be heart wrenching when the time is wrong. I am sure it will be wonderful for you when you sit down with them. I enjoyed your post.


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