It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Sunday, January 19, 2014


The little family unit has gone back to NYC and I am once again, all by myself.
There should be a little cat here with me but I was unsure , as I often am now.
I didn't know if it was a good idea, the kitten was older than I planned, has a bit of an illness and needs antibiotics .. I don't think I can deal with that right from the start. 
It might be a much better idea to get a healthy kitten and enjoy that first , being nurse to a kitty can come later, if it ever has to come.

Yesterday it started to snow and we all watched big fat snow flakes falling, faster and faster, this morning was bright and sunny and there is a lot of snow. 
A Lot.
The boy child shoveled, like a pro ! 
I am so impressed ! and now I have a clean driveway, the street is plowed, I can leave the house .... but ... there is nowhere to go.

It is Sunday and I don't want to go far .. it is a bit too freezing cold to take a walk up the hill to spend a few minutes chatting with the sheep and horse.
The Highland Cattle are very clique-ish lately, they stand apart and just stare .. uppity cows... see if I care, I can talk to the horse and the sheep and even the goat .. 

My memory seems to have suffered a major blow when grief slammed into me.
I find myself looking in the closet for something, like a twit I see a bright shiny object and get distracted then I stand there and try to remember, what am I doing here in front of the closet ?

I have to find something ... but what ?

If I don't know what it is, I certainly can't know where it is ! 

Time for tea and some chocolate, I say !!

In the middle of the night, I will be lying alone in that huge bed ( it got bigger , I swear it did ) and everything I forgot today, will pop into my mind ... 
Then I am faced with the dilemma, get up and do it / find it now, or wait til morning and risk forgetting again.
If I lay there long enough and consider it, I fall asleep and forget it the next day anyway.

It will be interesting to see how I fare this winter ... who / what will come stumbling out of my house in the Spring ?

A shaggy headed old woman wearing mismatched socks and her husbands old sweater ?
A manic blonde wearing too much perfume ?
A shuffling old woman who looks around dazed and confused and then goes back into the house ?

The possibilities are endless.


  1. Hugs, Scarlett! I often think of you.
    In the spring, you will be just as interesting, beautiful, kind and caring person as you are now - one who has been though much pain and sorrow but who will face spring as a new beginning with much strength.
    Best wishes to you,

    1. Oh, Marianna, how kind you are ! Thank you, besitos ! C

  2. Spring will renew your energy and give you sunshine to feed your spirit.

    My friend in NYC suggested you go to your local Petco to find a kitten. She said they always have kittens for adoption.

    You're doing great considering all you have been through. Your biggest life challenge yet. That God for that baby and that you are back in the USA. Love and hugs to you.

    1. I will look for the nearest Petco tomorrow.
      Yes, thank god for the baby and my son and daughter and daughter in law .. If they would all just listen to me and move in with me and not just visit then leave me all alone again.
      love to you too ..

  3. Spring will be a blessing to you when it arrives.
    When I read what you write, you stir my heart.
    You have the makings of a writer - a future playwright?

  4. Thank you Rosemary ... a future something :)


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