It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Losing Track of Me

Somewhere between Recoleta, in Buenos Aires and New York City, I fear I am going to lose track of me.
I am not the same me I was when I lived in the US.
I was a wife ( still am), I was a Mom ( still am ) but here I am La Senora and it makes a girl feel different when you live in a country where people behave much like they must have back in the 1940s or 1950s ..

Men were gentlemen .. anyone remember that ?
They hold the doors for you here, they call you Senora, they step aside when there is not room on the sidewalks, they admire you but discreetly and never make noises or openly stare and make you uncomfortable.

You can smile at a stranger on the street and they will smile back .. normal.
Everyday sort of normal. No one thinks you are flirting.
Strangers strike up conversations in stores, on streets, remarking on this and that .. normal.
I grew up in the South.
I grew up with people who were "touchy feely" .. I still am a bit on the touchy feely side .. although my husband has his own ideas on that.
He thinks I should touch people less.
I don't listen to him.

We arrived here with Tate the Pup and from the day of arrival, we were smiled at, talked to, Pup was petted, baby talked and kissed.
We were kissed hello, goodby and although I don't remember anyone babytalking us ... it would not have surprised me.

I began to relax, to not stiffen up when a strange person in the street leaned in to kiss my cheeks.
I began to relax and give my own kisses, freely.

I dressed like the ladies here, I shop in their shops.
I wear my scarf the same way, the same sort of shoes, I let my hair grow long like the ladies here.
I became One of Them.
This is the New Me.
My husband always likes me .. now he likes the New Me too.
I like the New Me.

Will I become another me ?
I want to walk down the street with long hair like a girl and not think I should dress like everyone else or wear my hair like everyone else.
I want to stay Me....
I will have to watch out . I will have to remind myself .. the New Me is just fine.
There is no reason to become another me ... how many times can a person become a new me ?!
I will be in the country, not the city.
I will live in a house , not an apartment.
We will drive our own car, not take taxis.
But I will make sure to keep track and hang on to Me.


Razmataz said...

You just need to be the authentic you and you will be accepted and thrive.

Mary said...

This is good to hear! I would definitely love the New You. :) And probably the old you too, but i'm familiar with the one you are now. Buenos Aires sounds like the kind of place i would love. :) I'm so happy for you that you experienced living there.

Linda said...

I did not meet the "old" you...
I certainly like the "new" you...
Best of luck with your move...
Which house did you buy???
Are you settled in yet???

Linda :o)

Anonymous said...

Are you back in the USA? Will be eager for updates!! Good luck and best wishes.

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