It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Monday, June 25, 2018

Stay

I have a friend who never fails to crack me up with laughter. Her gift is to say something ridiculous at the perfect moment, generally the last moment you would consider saying something silly or comical.
But as I have learned, those are the moments when it means the most ...

When your heart is breaking. When you are sure you will not be able to even breath if the news is bad. When you had your heart set on something and you just saw it all crumble and go away ...
There are times we don't even want to remember, to think of ever again.
And if I am talking to or emailing this friend, she is the arm around me, the hug when I need it and guaranteed to somehow , make me giggle like a 10 year old.

When I first moved to Florida and upon arrival, my mom died, my friend was there for me.
Pretty much the only person there for me, besides my heartbroken daughter, even  if it was through emails and phone calls... my friend was there .

I had just left the home my husband and I had bought in NY State, after returning from Argentina.
I knew no one. But each night, after he had died, the police car would cruise past my house, sometimes using a light to check the back of the property .. never bothering me, always comforting me.
I had total strangers who heard about us .. coming to the door and leaving me  gifts, like the old days , food, phone numbers that might be useful for repairs etc ..
I had a man who owned his own company, stop by one winter day and clear the snow off my roof so there would be no Big problems .. he would not give me a bill or accept money.

There were people in the family that were not so solicitous as strangers were that winter. Which leaves  all kinds of lessons to be learned.
And then I moved to Florida.
My mom died.
My daughter did everything, we were close , we were heartbroken. I am glad I was here, I am glad my daughter was here, I wish my mom was here.
My friend was there too .. not in person but she was there in every  other way .

I can't imagine how people in big families cope. With loss.
My family was never that large but the 2 most important people died within a year .. then , recently, my favorite aunt .. it makes a person slightly nervous .. please ... don't anyone else go .. stay .. stay .. just a little longer.

This is a sad day, I apologize for my sad post .. tomorrow will be a better day.

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