It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Let's Go South ! What Would You Do ?

Personally I think that is a brilliant idea if I do say so myself.. South .. way South .. Florida is just a tease. And you can understand the language ... mostly.
I happen to be fluent in Southern so I do OK but people like my husband ... they listen to you, then turn and say to someone else ( their wife ) ... What did he say?  As if it weren't English !!

 My husband had a wicked sense of humor and he was very good at getting me crazy.
I miss that ... I miss him. Now I am just slowly getting    that Old Lady with Cats sort of crazy.

But there is a change in the air. Change in location, change in attitude, no change in cats .. some things must stay the same or  ... well ... you know ... me ... brain ... melting ...
So the cats and I are preparing for a New Adventure in this New Year.

Now the question of the day ... this is for you.
If you were dissatisfied with where you live , how you live, if you are alone or with someone ... what would you do ?
Everyone thinks this at one time or another ... so tell me ... what would you do ? where ? with whom?
Would you cut your hair ? lol ... change your looks .. style .. tell me.

I am boring ... I bore me. I bore the cats.
So this is your turn.
Write the blog for me ... tell me what you would do if you could change your life ... any aspect or all aspects of it.

Enjoy the imagining ... put it in the comment section and I will put them in the blog ...
OK ? it will be fun to read them all. ... Now don't make me feel like a jerk with no responses...

TTFN ...


  1. Making major decisions about where to live is harder as you get older because aging is a constant part of the equation. Reading actual experiences is so helpful because many of the books and articles are written by people who are younger looking at the issues. Interviewing people is easy living through the uncertainty and problems is much harder.

    Thank you

  2. Candice, I'm thinking about how to respond to your questions from the perspective of possibly being alone some day, like you, but remember I'm older. Because of this I would need to stay in the US for health insurance etc. Therefore I would be unable to pick my first choice - return to Devon, England and live out my days in a small thatched cottage, with all modern/safe conveniences inside, a manageable small cottage garden and two cats outside! It would be on the edge of Dartmoor in a small village where hopefully the neighbors would be friendly once I regained my English accent, and the Internet fast as I wouldn't be driving to places such as shopping malls.

    So instead, if alone . . . . . . . initially I'd buy a first class ticket, fly to a port from where I'd set sail on 3 month world cruise - in a suite, not a cabin - on my favorite ship. That would probably get the travel bug out of my system and I wouldn't ever want to leave home again. I'd return here and set up home, yes with two cuddly kitties - in a new one level house in a smaller town perhaps toward the west, closer to the North Carolina mountains! They are just 4-5 hour drive from here but so beautiful - you already know that having lived in this great state. If my family and friends want to visit they can drive that far - if they don't. . . . . . .well I won't even get into that here, and I do already have friends in those mountains! I would hopefully still be driving for some time and could adventure into the Blue Ridge whenever I want. I would have no timetable. I would be grateful for small things and quiet moments.

    I don't want to be left alone of course but know this is always possible. There are several bloggers out there, you included, who have had to face this huge life change for one reason or another. I have cried for each you across the miles and am so proud of each of you for all you have accomplished by yourselves.

    I would probably embrace grey hair at last, and cut it even shorter, haha!
    Hugs - Mary

  3. I love where I live in Cave Creek, AZ....we see wildlife almost every day. Deer, bunnies, javalina, bobcats. Lots of quail and other birds. But if i could move anywhere, I'd move to the Sea Ranch in northern CA. My husband loves it there,too, so I'm sure he'd be ok moving there. I love the wild ocean/coast. It would be ideal if we could have a z house there to spend thd summers, and stay here in AZ for the winter.

    1. I was born in Tucson :)
      I have traveled quite a lot and lived in a variety of places..
      I totally agree about the appeal of living near the ocean.

  4. It is difficult making choices when you are older especially if you are still fit and well - we never know just what is around the corner. Even though climbing stairs may not be a problem now, a home all on one level would be my choice. Family not too far away - the convenience of facilities i.e. essential shops, doctor, dentist etc. Go mad in the hairdressers - do something outrageous - you can always grow it out. Travel would be top of my agenda whilst possible, and I need to live in a beautiful landscape.
    Do you know the poem 'When I am an old woman I shall wear purple' by Jenny Joseph?

  5. I would get a dog, buy a better camper van and spend my life travelling. Sadly Dutch law doesn't allow for such frivolities, so it would be tricky to do. If I could afford it I would perhaps buy a small apartment as a base and do it anyway. I'd worry about being old and decrepit when the time came, or maybe just drive the camper van off a cliff.
    I used to think of retiring to La Palma in the Canaries, but the constant good weather and the smallness of the island would drive me nuts in a very short time.

  6. heti, that is whey Buenos Aires was a good idea for us. It was my husbands idea btw.
    I had to be convinced. I am so glad that he was so convincing as was Buenos Aires itself. You visit and you want to stay :)
    My husband was several years older than I , which made no difference since he was the young at heart person in this couple .. He was always ready to try new things and go to new places.
    I was so lucky :)
    I don't believe age has anything to do with it. I think that is old fashioned to think that way. Young people think of something they would like to do and they do it. Why can't older people do the same thing ?
    Almost every older person/couple that I have met that has traveled and been adventurous has a younger and more positive outlook on life.
    My husband said he was never going to say, oh, I am xx years old, time to sit down and stop living.

  7. We are currently debating whether to buy a small apartment and spend as much time as possible travelling Europe, or to buy something bigger, that we are happy to live in more permanently.
    Mixed feelings about both options, but we both agree that if the other one dies the survivor should get a dog and hit the road. My husband is 9 years older than me, and has travelled the world for his work, so he is slightly more inclined to finding a home, rather than a base, than I am. He travelled while I raised the kids. By the time I could travel with him he hardly travelled any more. C'est la vie!
    If we were in the US there would be no doubt we would buy a nice RV and spend our lives as nomads. As I said, it isn't so easy here, sadly.

  8. I grew up in Miami and have lived in N. Carolina (twice), Chicago, San Francisco, Southern California, and now Oregon. As a result, I'm a bit "moved out" at the moment. I could see downsizing and traveling more, however.

    One of the factors to consider with moving to someplace new is where a person falls on the introversion/extroversion scale, and how much bandwidth she has for volunteer work, paid work, church, interest groups, etc. I think we have to be really honest with ourselves about that--and we also have to recognize that what worked at one point in our lives may not work in the future.

  9. Mary Ann, it isn't factoring in with my moving choices yet. The fact that we want to pack up and move somewhere is a young way of thinking , in my opinion.

    I generally have loved everywhere I have lived for one reason or another. But then again, the last 40 years give or take a year, were spent with the man I loved .. my adventurer .. but I am fine now, packing up and going on my own. . with cats , of course :)

    So far, what worked for me in the past is still working. I hope that continues.
    Jean, I was born in Az, grew up in NC, moved to SF, LA , NYC, Oregon,Fl, Buenos Aires and now back to Fl.
    And I am in the beginning stages of the lists for packing and moving again :)

    Whatever scale someone would like to put me on, everything is still working fine.

  10. Oops, I left out the part where I lived in San Diego and Hawaii .. :)

  11. Hello Candice... Elle here :) I found your blog through Johns Going Gently.
    I really feel your conundrum regarding if to move or where to move and the enormity of choosing for yourself without your husband to bounce ideas off... that would be difficult and the aloneness in the decision would be so heavy.

    Ive been married to my husband 46 years and we are a good team, sometimes it is a battle of wills to find the answers even with two who are on the same page.
    My husband is presently wanting to move to another state... he doesn't like the cold now he is older and feeling arthritic, I am reluctant to go away from our rural environment as where he wants to go is much dearer to purchase and so busy and intense... it is a real dilemma but I guess in the long run I will acquiesce to his wishes, but that comes with a lot of responsibility too... whether to influence someone else life to the point where they have to move to please the instigator.

    At least you have the freedom of choice to move if you really want to then it is an adventure, a fresh start and and new beginning. It can be overwhelming but I am concerned if you are feeling panicked at going out..that aloneness will only become greater and more isolating.

    Perhaps a holiday away would be a good idea and see how you feel when you come back to your present home.
    All the best.

  12. Hi Elle !
    You can imagine my face when my husband said to me a couple of weeks after returning from our visit to Buenos Aires, How would you like to live in BA ?
    I went through every emotion and mood ... then I got really excited because we loved it there and it would be ( in our code to each other ) Another Great Adventure.
    And it was . Partly because we were together.
    That is the only thing that can change the way I would like somewhere ... if being with my husband made it better.
    I haven't been here long enough yet for anywhere to feel like a holiday- I know what Florida is like, I know what NY State is like. I am not sure I want to spend the thousands of dollars to fly to BA for a week or 2 to see if I still like it.
    So things will have to brew and we will see how I feel as time goes by and I do somethings here that I must do ... for my own sanity as well as other things that are too dull to mention.
    Thanks for your ideas.

  13. PS - I don't know where I said that I felt panicked at going out but I don't. . I might feel panicked at the idea of being the sole person taking charge of such a huge undertaking but I have done it once, I might manage to do it twice.


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