It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Monday, November 2, 2015


Are you a letter writer ? Even an Email writer ? A telephone caller ? A talker?
You know, like Dear So and So, how are you today ? Is the sore leg better I hope ?
Are the dogs getting their vet visit today ? etc .....

I am. I like to keep in touch.
Because if I don't, I have learned that I will never hear from anyone.

Right after my husband died, everyone would send emails often, it was so sweet and thoughtful.
I needed to read about Other peoples lives, what the weather was, how were the dogs, did the cats get to the vet and how about that rain ? !

Otherwise, sitting here alone in the middle of nowhere in an empty house grieving , would have done me in.

The cats have helped a lot. I talk to them. It would be nice if they could talk back, chat a little but at least I am not alone in the house, mumbling to myself.
Merlin actually will answer me.
I pick him up, he is heavy and floppy and just ridiculously lovable ... and I kiss his head and tell him how beautiful he is and that I love him.
He  answers me in this cranky croaky old cat voice ... he says... I love you too. . put me down.

Minette doesn't talk much at all. But she was caught being bad and I grabbed her and swooped her up and she made the tiniest little girl kitty squeaky meow.
I felt terrible and covered her in kisses and she purred loudly.
Then she bit my nose.

I mostly go by the purring.
Merlin is lying quietly .. thinking. (He thinks a lot) .. I whisper to him and kiss his head .. the room is full of the sound of purring.

Minette is harder to get a purr out of. But at night on the bed when the lights are low and everyone is feeling sleepy, she has her little motor running and she is just putty in my hands... a purring sweet little love bug.

So they are my friends, they are the ones who hear about my day and who listen to my thoughts on this and that ... imagine if I didn't have them ! I would be outside talking to the birds and chipmunks I guess.

I am hoping that selling the house and moving will at least put me in a place where there will be another human around once or twice a day .. right now my human to human conversations are with the check out people at the market, the nice man at the gas station and the sweethearts at the Hardware store. Old guys who love to tell women the best way to do home repairs. I think they like me because I do know how to do some things and I also ask them for advice.
It probably gets kind of boring standing around all day in a hardware store.

To think, not that long ago, I lived with someone who talked to me all the time and I talked to him.
We walked and talked, we ate and talked, we always said Good Night and I love you.

Now I say it to the cats.

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