It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Oh My Aching Back

Tuesday I was full of energy , well , sort of and made sure the house was in perfect order, everything dust free and shiny. I have company coming. They are here now in the town but will be here in the house on Friday.
"They " are the young woman and her baby son who befriended me when my husband died and I was floating around the yard and up the hill to stand and stare at the animals. There were no people to comfort me, there was no comfort but adding to my grief was the terrible sense of being alone.. the only person on the planet sometimes.

You wake in the night in a bed that is startlingly big and vast and cold and you are huddled in your little spot. I still sleep on "my" side of the bed .. I am just adjusting to sliding over towards the middle, hogging the bed. Some nights I  have to hog the bed before the cats do.

I wandered around my garden, around the house, avoiding looking at spots where there was no one there .. listening, even though I knew there would be no such sound, it was ingrained in me to listen for that voice.

I could never bring myself to sleep in the middle of the bed, I still stayed on my side. Acutely aware of the cold space where someone warm and comforting had always been.

Last night I was very tired, I made sure the house was tidy for visitors, and climbed into bed. Seconds later, 2 cats climbed into bed. Thank goodness they were On the bed and not Under the bed.

About 3 minutes after getting in bed and just starting to relax, the bed collapsed.
The mattress, the cats and I crashed to the floor.
For some reason the slats that hold the mattress in place had been moved, pushed back and there was a big enough space that the mattress just pushed the rest out of the way and crashed down.
It did my back no favors. But we were all not harmed. If you don't count the shock and pounding heart from it all.

I made the huge mistake of trying to pull or drag the mattress off the bed frame....and there went my back. Those poor pulled muscle just slammed into rigid painful knots and that is what I have today.

I dragged my pillows and blankets into the living room and got on the sofa.
5 minutes lying there in pain and knew that it would not do.
So I went to the guest room where the bed my son complains about is all made up and neat and just flopped down on top of it with my comforter and pillows and thank you God, I slept.

Of course, a cat or two had to be sure I was alive and tried to figure out what I was doing in there, but by then I was awake and fully feeling the pain in my back.

I have taken 2 Advil and will have to find someone to come put my bed together.
My friend and the baby will be here Friday so I have lots of time to get myself back into shape .. or at least be able to hold a sweet baby.

What was it Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say ? " If it isn't one thing, it's another. "


  1. Think that almost daily here on the farm. My back has been hurting for a couple of weeks; up high this time instead of lower back. Last night, I rolled around in the bed waking from my neck hurting. I have taken a muscle relaxant and am waiting for it to kick in before I go feed the animals at the barn. And, I have to go buy heavy bags of feed today and carry those because my husband didn't do it before he left town. A twist on your world, but the same results. It just doesn't stop.

  2. Ouch! Must have scared the hell out of you!


  3. Glad you and the critters are OK.

    But the word picture you painted is very funny -- I saw a wonderful, animated cartoon, with cats flying up into the air.

    Someday you'll laugh about it all. Hang in there.

  4. I can see that cartoon too ! Emm .. and it is funny. I can laugh at it today. a little. besos.

  5. What a scare that was for you dear - hope so much your back will be better for Friday - be careful carrying the sweet baby about!!

    Mary X

  6. It has been seven years since my husband passed away and I still sleep on "my" side. Fortunately, I have never had the bed collapse....that must have been rather scary. I hope your back feels better soon. And you are,s always something and everything is so much more difficult when you are used to sharing and solving the problems that arise with someone else.


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