Something to look forward to.
Something that would make me happy.
Something to push the sadness away .
I can go days , weeks and manage fine.
Then one day I can just wake up and it is all I can do to get out of bed.
Dragging myself around the house like a ghost .. haunting the rooms .. where I once laughed and cooked for two.
Where he sat on the sofa reading while music that he chose was playing .. there was no kitten then.
We talked about the cat we would get.
He would make me laugh with the ridiculous names he thought would be good for our new cat.
Really, none of them were good, unless we just needed to laugh every time we looked at the poor cat. It would have such a complex.
I think the best name he thought of was Rufus.
We had seen an old Tom Cat in a magazine.. he said, "now that is a Rufus "..
But instead , I wake to this tiny croaky little meow and it is Minette.
She is still tiny, her eyes are still huge and her voice is still croaky ..
I consider getting a dog when we move.
I can go for walks .. I can walk without a dog but it isn't nearly as pleasant.
There are so many things I want to do in that little house that I want to buy.
I try not to set my heart on things, disappointment is worse ..
I don't need anything new to depress me.
But If I get the little house, Minette and I might get a little puppy.
We will name him Rufus.
Rufus is a good name for a dog. A very fine, noble name. I hope Rufus finds you and you can be a comfort to each other.
ReplyDeleteThe great thing about a dog is the way they break the ice and get you meeting new people. Just what you need now.
Fingers still firmly crossed on your little house.
A big cyber hug.
Hetismij
heti ... myst last dog was Tate . He was a brown Standard Poodle and the unofficial Ambassador of Good Will to Argentina.
ReplyDeleteWe made so many friends by walking him in the park and people approaching us to talk about him.
When we would go somewhere without him, it never failed, a doorman , a shop keeper , a neighbor would stop us and say , where is the perro ? One lady would always kiss him on the mouth .. I was never sure how he felt about that ... I got the feeling that he loved it.
I love standard poodles. Such dignified and intelligent dogs, but with a sense of humour too. Tate looks to have been a real star.
ReplyDeleteOne day your Rufus, or Bella or Fido will come along.
Keep warm, keep strong.
Heti
Hello Candice,
ReplyDeleteYes, we can well see that a Rufus would make an excellent addition to the family. Cats are wonderful, we have had one all our married lives except now, but a dog is a loyal companion whereas a cat is so much more independent.
Try to put your misgivings behind you. Change will be good, or at least, it will be different. And, yes, look out for a Rufus who needs a good and loving home!
Not on the topic of dogs, but...
ReplyDeleteI have a sister and a friend who are always looking for houses. For my sister it's recreational. She doesn’t buy but boy does she shop. We have tagged along with her looking at so many houses around our family’s usual vacation spot that I'm pretty sure all the real estate agents in that area know better than to return her calls by now.
My friend, on the other hand, buys them. I think the one she just bought is #13 for her. She has bought and/or sold four houses in the last three years. She’s always trolling zillow. I envy her. I’d love to do the same but it ain’t gonna happen.
The reason I’m saying this is that you could do more looking while waiting for your current house to sell. The blue house may be hard to beat, but you can still have fun looking. Such a gorgeous town. I’d want to see inside as many houses as possible. You haven’t worn out or alienated any real estate agents, have you? I thought not!
Carolyn, all my looking at houses has been done online. My realtor is my friend . Since I have only lived here a year, I doubt I am wearing out anyone yet.
ReplyDeleteYes, a dog. In my experience a dog tends to be the answer to most problems/disappointments/blue moods/disenchantment/inertia. . .and I could go on and on.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I could live without a dog.
You have written so poignantly here, it makes me wish I knew you. You live in New York state now?
I won't say anything banal. I'm sorry you feel triste.
xo,
Tish
Ahhh Tish, you got it ! Your pup is your confidante, your companion, your baby .. your entertainment !
ReplyDeleteThis is the longest I have ever been without a dog. Tate lived a long time, I grieved a long time. Now with a new grief, a dog would be a help, I think.
I do live in Upstate NY , along the Hudson .. quite beautiful .
I made an appt for a haircut , that will help my mood. :)
Oh I hope you find another dog that is loyal and comforting company for you. My favorite standard poodle was Galahad...every bit as gallant as the name suggests.
ReplyDeleteI did not get the little house that I had fallen in love with .. so my little Rufus will have to wait a while.
ReplyDeleteGalahad is a perfect Poodle name !
Ohh, I hope you are not too disappointed about the little house. Perhaps there is a magical place yet to be discovered that will be ideal for puppy training &kitten craziness.
ReplyDelete