Something to look forward to.
Something that would make me happy.
Something to push the sadness away .
I can go days , weeks and manage fine.
Then one day I can just wake up and it is all I can do to get out of bed.
Dragging myself around the house like a ghost .. haunting the rooms .. where I once laughed and cooked for two.
Where he sat on the sofa reading while music that he chose was playing .. there was no kitten then.
We talked about the cat we would get.
He would make me laugh with the ridiculous names he thought would be good for our new cat.
Really, none of them were good, unless we just needed to laugh every time we looked at the poor cat. It would have such a complex.
I think the best name he thought of was Rufus.
We had seen an old Tom Cat in a magazine.. he said, "now that is a Rufus "..
But instead , I wake to this tiny croaky little meow and it is Minette.
She is still tiny, her eyes are still huge and her voice is still croaky ..
I consider getting a dog when we move.
I can go for walks .. I can walk without a dog but it isn't nearly as pleasant.
There are so many things I want to do in that little house that I want to buy.
I try not to set my heart on things, disappointment is worse ..
I don't need anything new to depress me.
But If I get the little house, Minette and I might get a little puppy.
We will name him Rufus.