It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Taking the Weekend Off

The weekend is coming.
It turned into a bit of a stressful week, culminating in calls to police and self recriminations and deep sadness that my husband isn't here.
Everything is fine now, I hope ... but I want to take a little break and get over it.
Minette is my little angel.
She squeaks at me if I grab her up too fast, or startle her.
She will then bite me and then kiss me.
She and I both have issues I guess :)

She sleeps in her new crate and cuddles with me in my bed in the morning.
We both enjoy those morning snuggles .. although I can still do without the little love bites.
Lordy that kitten has sharp teeth ..

I took a drive today, it was so very beautiful , I just had to be outside.. even if I had no place to go.
And no one to go with.
Yesterday I went to Great Barrington .. today I went to Chatham and farm markets.

Buying perfect fruit and veggies just yards away from where they  grew is a treat.
Eating fresh baked scones made at the farm market is a treat too. .
They also have flower greenhouses, I am trying to decide what kind to get. And herbs too.

In the meantime though, I bought what looks like a Japanese pottery .. it is so pretty, it doesn't even need a plant, I just put it in the window on the sill .. a work of art in a beautiful shade of green.

I hope everyone has a perfect Summer weekend.
I will see you next week.


  1. Sweetheart, what happened? You need a family member to step in and help you sell the house and find a place to live with better proximity to what you need and better support. I think you can no longer cope alone. Your grief is too much to deal with alone.

  2. The coping alone part is passed, it is almost a year and I have been alone most of it. Now is just finding a new neighborhood closer to NYC. Which is not easy at all. I would rather be in BA or London or the South of France lol (who wouldn't ?)
    My family is tiny ... very tiny and they are the best of their ability.

  3. Gail, in Northern CaliforniaJuly 19, 2014 at 11:03 AM

    Though a year has passed since the loss of my husband, (July 17) like you, the grief is unbearable and seems to come in waves. I've come to the awful realization that this is the way it will always be ---with human contact and other distractions providing temporary relief.

    A dear friend recently told me that this painful journey is the way we honor the dead. It doesn't lessen the pain, but provides an explanation for the worst of times.

    I think your husband would be proud of the way you are trying your damnedest to cope.


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