Winter is here, it has been very cold.
I have this feeling all the time that I should be packing or going through things to throw something away. Instead , we go on walks, I take a gazillion photos, downloading them, having fun editing photographs and posting them on Tumblr.
I take photos of buildings, parks and places, mostly.
I will have these photos, thousands of them now, when the day comes that I am in my new home in my new town in my old country and missing this place like crazy.
Some days I miss it and I am still here !
I will have a moment with someone who lives on our street, a person in the building, a stranger in the park and I will think, will anyone "back home" be as nice as this ?
No one is mean to us.
No one has ever been mean to us.
Isn't that weird ?
We are from New York and while they are vocal and brutally honest and very opinionated, NewYorkers are also caring and kind and funny.
But I often feel like I have never met one not - nice person here ... I cannot remember who was less than kind and sweet.
There are places here full of memories of Pup and those are the places I will find it hardest to leave.
As if I will be leaving him here, as if we would go anywhere without him.
But then I look at homes online and I see houses with gardens, I think that Pup should be with us so he can enjoy them, maybe a new puppy will be there instead.
Maybe a little cat will curl up in front of the fireplace and purr while we read in our new living room, in our new home, in the woods.
We are neither here nor there.
We are living here but thinking of there.
We have not packed, we do not know when we will go, we cannot start preparations.
So while I live in Buenos Aires, my thoughts keep finding themselves there .. looking for that new place, still enjoying the old place, new adventures waiting .. here and there.
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
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I love reading your blog and I enjoy your choices of music. If there were no words, I would still come back for the music. I am a new blogger and your blog is such an inspiration. I'm using 2 of your music selections in my blog because I like it so much. (So much for being original-:) I hope you don't mind. In 2007, I was living in CA and went online and rented an apartment in Recoleta to stay there for 3 months by myself. Everybody was so surprised about what I was doing. They called me adventurous, courageous, etc. It was no big deal for me. And of course, I speak Spanish and I had been married to a Porteño, so I was familiar with the culture.
ReplyDeleteNow, what's you've done, THAT is adventurous and courageous. I can relate so much to your post today. I understand your state of mind. You wrote "We are neither here nor there." Coincidentally, I wrote something similar in my first post in Spanish: "No soy de aqui ni soy de alla" - I'm not from here and I'm not from there. I am from Puerto Rico, then moved to Los Angeles, I had plans to live in BsAs, but ended up in Las Vegas.
There's something about Buenos Aires. In spite of all their problems, there is a magic. You will always miss it. I do. Ciao.
Thank you so much, Delma !
ReplyDeleteI am glad you like the music .. I tend to get bored with it after a while and change it so I am please to hear someone else likes it too.
We are often told that we are adventurous or brave but the truth is, we wanted to try something new and we are brave together. Well, I am brave when I am with him. So it was another successful adventure and our lives are so much richer for it.
Now we will be going back to the US sooner or later and we will begin a new adventure.
Thank you for your comments and your story, besitos, C