When I met my husband I was just 21 .. he was older. I was a girl from NC by way of California and he was born and raised in NYC .. although he spent quite a lot of time living in London and India.
I was living in California, came to NYC on a visit, met my husband the first couple of days in the city and we were married a couple of months later.
So I spent half my life so far with my husband... I picked up phrases he used and little ways of doing and saying things.
He was really smart and very well traveled and sophisticated.
We were a perfect couple and I am not sure why ... old souls perhaps .. but we were so very happy.
I lived with him for many years, from the young age of early 20s ... I picked up many of his ways of thinking about things ( a good thing) and his ways of saying things ( a funny thing) and mostly just his way of not taking some things so seriously ( a very good thing if you can manage it)...
I grew up with him.. in all ways .. and I try to think of how he would manage something if I am just flummoxed by a particular behavior or something someone says to me ... I like to think that I have kept my sense of humor, although that seems to be the problem.
So many people take every single thing so seriously. Of course, to them it probably is serious but it seems that people expect everyone else to be distressed, worried, angry over someone else's problem.
I have learned about this the Hard Way.
The most recent being yesterday when I took a persons comments to be humorous.
BEEEG mistake. This is someone who has known me for a very long time ( online) and I was there for them through some pretty sad days ... days when this person was reeling from the death of a spouse. Having had a bit of that experience myself .. I try to be aware of how such a loss can change a persons personality.
For me ... it made me less likely to think before I speak.
It made me want to make someone laugh rather than moan and groan and be dreary .. nothing makes people run for the exit than a dreary widow ... or so I have been told.
Yes... one of the things that gets lost is the ability to be polite or kind in other people and the complete lack of a sense of humor.
So someone I know (for years) who has been through the same issues (loss etc) said something in an email that was just so sad and yet there was this one thing that was said that made me feel that this person was feeling worse because this person is drinking .... too much.
I would never say anything .. that is on that list of easy ways to lose a friend.
But then, what do you think happened ? I spoke frankly without being silly or fluffy about something and I was immediately criticized and dropped ... no more friend.
It is a good thing I have 3 cats. They always like it when I talk to them, they never judge and they never walk out on me.
I try to listen to them but they don't expect much, love and kindness generally do the trick.
Unlike some people who pretend to be "friends" ...
I think I want to be a cat ... when I die I will come back as a well fed cat .. with long claws ..