It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

You Plan and You Plan, then Life Happens

You know, it's funny how things work out.
A person plans, makes plans, has plans ... they figure they know all that can happen, go wrong or hopefully, all go according to the plan.

We left Buenos Aires because a baby was on the way , in NY . We wanted to be there, for them, for us .

I did not plan to leave NY and go South ... not at first.
I thought I would sell the NY house and move into one that was smaller .. a cottage .. a little house for one old woman and her cats with perhaps a tiny garden .. there is such a thing, up there, where I lived .

But "people" advised me not to stay there .. not to Be Alone, not to Spend So Much on a place to live, I would "be alone all the time" ... up there in New York State.

I packed all my belongings, cats into the car and took off to live near my Mom and Daughter and her son and have a different life.
When I lived in Florida with my husband, years ago ... he hated it .. we left finally. A year was about all he could take .. We moved to Oregon then of course, the big move was to Buenos Aires.
All because of an article he read in the paper, a 10 day visit because he couldn't stop thinking about it.
Every step of the way , we were met with signs that moving to Buenos Aires would be a Good Thing.

And it was. Everything happened easily, we were delighted every day with every thing ... even our lack of skill in Castellano was met with smiles and helpfulness ... In the US you can ask for something in English and still not be guaranteed a smiling helpfulness ..attitude, people, attitude.

Our attitude was delight .. everything was different but familiar, the people were on the whole, kind and good natured ... we always believed that people respond to a smile .. and they did.
I mangled their language, and the response was gentle, sometimes laughing and always helpful.
I miss the people of Buenos Aires like I left family behind.

I hated being alone in the NY house .. it had so many sad memories.
But then, when I think about it now .. I have a lot of good memories.
But best of all, it was in a Place that was memorable and that I miss very much.
New York State. It is so beautiful. Mountains, charming towns, farms, ranches, horses, cows , Highland cattle, Llamas ... you name it, you can probably find it up there.

So  here I am ... in Florida. No snow. But hurricanes .. hmmmm.... which would you prefer ?
NY - high heating bills .... Fl - air conditioning running most of the year.
Cost of living - same.
Food and clothes .. same.

All the companionship and not being alone all the time .... same as NY ..  perhaps even worse.

So the cats and I had a discussion .. we do that a lot before bed .. all cozy on my bed, talking about what the plan is for the next day .. sometimes for the next year ..
We decided that we would rather be alone in the country in New York than in Florida.
A snowstorm is not as scary as Hurricanes and Tornadoes .. strange I am sure, but that is what we think.

Christmas ... that did it.
When I was in NY ... visitors drove for hours to spend the day or weekend with me .. keeping me from feeling totally alone in the universe.
In Fl .. I spent Christmas alone. Santa didn't even visit and leave us anything . The cats were pissed.
Luckily, I knew Christmas was coming, I shopped, I got the cats their presents, they were happy.
But that was sort of the last straw ..
If I want to be happy, I have to do whatever it takes.
No one else really cares.
So there we have it .


  1. A small cottage in the NY countryside for you and the kitties sounds lovely. Sometimes you have to leave a place to find out it is where you should be.

  2. So true. It does sound lovely, thank you :)

  3. I would prefer the coziness of a small cottage with a tiny garden, and even look forward to the snowstorms each winter, just so long as I'm prepared with plenty of food for the cats and myself.
    I've always believed you can me surrounded by people yet still feel alone.
    I was an only child, so being alone, is something I was used to. A Beatrix Potter of sorts, I made my own little world, and took delight and comfort in my animals.
    Go where your heart takes you dear friend.

  4. I've followed your blog for awhile, but I think this is the first time I've commented.
    New York or perhaps Buenos Aires!? I wish you contentment whichever you choose.

  5. I tried to leave a comment last night. I think it disappeared. Just wanted to say that I hope you find contentment no matter what you do, and I agree that you have to be the one to make that decision! I've been following you on and off for a while. I enjoy what you have to say.

    I'm at

  6. I wonder about a little cottage in one of those Hudson Valley towns, close in to the village center. Some of those towns have come back to life, thanks to New Yorkers who have left the city. At any rate, good luck with whatever you decide!

  7. Jean, that is where I lived :) more north than the Hudson valley in the Chathams .. look at a map.,it is so beautiful there.

  8. Aha! Yes, I've seen pics--very beautiful. Well, now you know about the winters, so you can plan. And you've spent this most recent time in a condo, so you know you can do smaller spaces. I'm sure you can find the right place for you....

  9. Hi my friend .. it's been a while since I've visited here, your corner of blogland. Yes, life sure does happen when we are busy making plans - doesn't it. I'm learning that you have to live where you can enjoy life without the company of others (if they are around that is great - but if they are not ... I can still do things). I have been spending more time at my home in the city (Toronto) this past year - when I first thought of moving back - I thought I would get to spend time with friends and see them more often - than I did living at our country home 1 - 1 1/2 north of the city.

    Well ... one friend moved almost an hour west of the city, another moved 4 hours away after being downsized from her job; another is busy since the adoption of their son came through ; others are often busy with husbands/sweethearts, children , careers.

    For a few weeks I thought about moving to the city my family lives about 4 hours from Toronto - after all one of my friends just moved there. Then reality hit me, while I think I would see my mother, siblings, and my brother's children - and my friend too - more often ... PROBABLY NOT ..and I would be in a city that I had to drive everywhere, and little culture, events and things to do.

    In Toronto, I have easy access to subway, so no matter the weather I can out and explore the city.. my furbabies can go to doggie day care, and regular walks ... I'm turning my guest bedroom into a walk in closet - as it was only used for guests TWICE in 12 months... I'm thinking my next move will be full time living in the city (Toronto) and eventually into a condo here. But we know life happens when we are making plans ~ so we'll have to wait and see... but that's the plan for now.

    Whatever you decide my friend, think of what will make you and the kitty's happy - where you will be able to do what you want to do, and have access to what makes you enjoy life.

    Sorry for the long comment .. I guess your post really hit home.. Hugs, Celia

  10. Ahhh Celia, what a sweet surprise to see you here ... Thank you , I am glad my post hit home .. I am glad I make someone think rather than fall asleep immediately :)
    I am pretty well decided now ... the cats and I will be taking a drive soon .. hopefully after the last snow of the season.
    Florida turned out to be a disappointment ... this time I will not forget..or forgive.

    I would like to live in a city but the cost in the cities I am leaning towards is too high. NYC ... LOL or Buenos Aires... now BA is still very appealing ..
    But maybe a long visit instead.

    In Upstate NY ... a little north of Hudson NY ... maybe close to the border of Ma ... or maybe close to the Hudson .. it is all gorgeous up there .. the cats are eager to get started.
    I will begin the early preparations this week ..
    I have this feeling that I could pack and go and there would be people here that never knew I had left ..
    I want more out of my "home" than that ... and I have friends who are waiting for me to show up .. babies to kiss .. old friends to kiss ... grandson to kiss ... this one is soooo kissable too ! :)

    So I am looking forward to new beginnings ... My sister in law will be so happy. We can discuss Aunt Dimity books over tea again. <3

  11. This is a 3 bedroom duplex with a huge screened lanai lol
    I don't intend to find anything like this in NY:)
    I am going for a Miss Marple cottage if possible :)

  12. A Miss Marple like cottage would be great, within walking distance of a villge/town maybe? With big windows to let in lots of sun puddles for the kitties to lay in.

  13. Unknown, that is my hope ... exactly what you describe ..


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