It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

My Mom

My Mom died quietly and peacefully without waking up.
Of all the things and people in the world , my mother was always there for me.. Along with my husband.
She had me when she was very young, losing my father in an accident shortly before my birth. So we two went out into the world together.
She found happiness and heartache but she always had the love of her children and granddaughter.
My husband cared for her too.
There is no describing the feeling of loss.
God bless her .

Michele Roberts Robinson
1933-2016







Thursday, April 14, 2016

today

Thanks to all who who have sent good wishes.
Mom continues to fight, she may be frail but should is tough.
She looked at me yesterday but I  not sure if she understood I was actually there ... I hope she did.
I won't be posting for a while , it is too difficult with only a phone plus time needs to be spent with her and not online.. A lesson for us all I believe.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Thank you

My furniture is on the way. Not sure when it will arrive but at least I am not staying in a hotel with 2 curious cats. Well, one curious young cat and one old codger who just wants to nap in a soft warm spot.

The weather is lovely,  chilly at night and bright and sunny days .. I wish I had time to take a walk and appreciate this weather but with the move and my poor Mom in Intensive Care, the cats nap all day while I wait for Mom to wake up and know I am there.
As if it were not all sad enough, she doesn't know I am there .

Yesterday was a day of watching over her, with my daughter who I am beyond proud of and needing to get back there and tend to cats and figure out what will go where and get groceries etc. We went to Moms apartment and tidied up which was a good way of expending some frustrated energy and feeling like we were doing something for her .. I am just hoping and praying she gets to go home and see it .. Today might be the day that will tell. My hopes continue but the signs are not good.

It is all so heartbreaking.

I will post next when I have something interesting to say .. for now, keep those thoughts and prayers coming, I would like to have my Mom around a little while longer .. Thank you. C

Friday, April 8, 2016

Hello Florida

As of yesterday, I am officially living in Florida. I have a gorgeous new home with 2 happy cats and the weather is beautiful and I be happy.
My daughter is  treasure and I shudder to think what this all would have been like without her help.

The dark spot on my happy days right now is that my poor mom had a massive heart attack and is in intensive care ... since I arrived.
We never actually got to say hello and hug.
So everyone please remember her in your prayers and let me get my hug and kisses from my mom.

I have no furniture and internet is spotting so you won't be hearing from me again for a week maybe until I get everything set up.

but at least you know now- We have landed ... Hello Florida !

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Bad Days

"Don’t plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. 
The weeks grow into months. 
Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. 
Take it from me - choke those little bad days. 
Choke ‘em down to nothing."

Monday, April 4, 2016

An Eventful Day

It all started calmly and peacefully, a good nights sleep, two snuggly cats, sun shining, birds singing .. and then ... I had to go to the bank to put the money for the deposit on the new home and ended up finding out that monies had not been paid here and there, monies were not coming in here and there and basically, nothing was working out as easy peasy as I had hoped.
Thank you God for that daughter of mine who knows Everything about Everything concerning banks, real estate transactions and generally she just knows Everything about Everything.

This might be irritating to some people but all I can say is Thank God for my Daughter.

She just knew what to say to which person and told me what to do next and the best thing was when she told me You don't have to do anything, it is all taken care of.

So I have suddenly from one day to the next acquired a new home .. gorgeous, new, private, safe, beautiful surroundings, amazing interiors, and all I have to do is sign papers ( done) and pay the fees ( done) and I can move in.
Never mind the furniture isn't here yet but the cats and I are here and I will move in and sleep on an air bed !
I want out of the hotel .. it is not so fun when you have to be sure your 2 escape artists are safe inside and no one mistakenly opens the door and lets them out .. my brain would just explode, I would not be able to bear it.

So now they will have a Townhouse with windows and screened rooms and window seats where sun shines in and helps old pussycats nap and rest their old bones .. stairs for little young cats to run up and down and be manic and to nap in the sunshine next to her old friend.

It is a quiet place, the only sound was birdsong. but it is right in the middle of the city.

Now I can tell the movers to deliver, I can figure what goes where and settle in to our new home.
So next time you see me here, it will be from our new house in Florida ..


Saturday, April 2, 2016

Hello Florida ~

After a mostly uneventful almost boring drive, which for some reason did not seem to be quite as long and awful as I expected, I arrived in Jacksonville Florida this afternoon.
The weather was nice, warmish and breezy and a coat was not needed.
Flowers of all sorts are blooming and it looks so tropical ! The only difficulty and it wasn't even difficult was that when I arrived in town, I was having trouble with the diretions that came with warnings about the area to avoid, which is where I ended up being lost. So I pulled into the parking lot of the local Emergency services and called for help.
My daughter arrived shortly after and with that help, I got here with no problems at all.
The city is growing and changing and so much is not familiar to me yet .. but the hotel is nestled in a grove of beautiful trees with moss hanging and cobblestone walls and walks and it is very comfortable in the room.

The cats totally approve of the bed, where both made sure to choose who got what pillow.

Dinner with the family was fantastic .. a good sign.
Grilled fish with mashed potatoes seasoned with something garlicky and my birthday cake was chocolate mousse cake. Nuthin wrong with that !

We talked about Everything ... work, bosses, friends, weather, hair cuts and food and cats. . and everything else too.

When I came back to the hotel, there was a man with a massive white Standard Poodle and it brought back all those memories of Tate in Florida ..
Now my memories will be of kittens and old sweetie cats in Florida.

I am dropping from tiredness but wanted to catch you up ... I have arrived .. it is good so far :)

Thank you and much love to you who have sent such sweet emails and good luck wishes.

To be continued ....

Friday, April 1, 2016

Notes On the Road

Well, it started out quite bumpy .. I got a ticket for not having cash for the Turnpike toll that I had no idea I was going to have to pay and apparently ignorance and only having a credit card don't make a bit of difference. So I just mailed off my little check to the little man who made such a big deal out of my being clueless about the New Jersey Transit Authorities feelings about tolls and fees and whatever.
So that started things off with a little sadness .. I felt like this is how stupid I am and how unable to do simple things like take a trip and not have cash for tolls that were not a part of the plan .. tolls ? I haven't lived in NJ for a very long time I guess.

The ride has been just monotonous. The view is nice but the same for miles and miles and hours and hours. With no one in the car to have discussions, plans, jokes, teasing, venting  ... all the things one does with the driver of their choice ..were absent on my ride.
So I listened to music and thought about Everything.

Mostly it was an uneventful ride / it is not over, I am in South Carolina, I will be out of SC tomorrow.
The biggest issue tonight, funnily enough, was that I had to go find cat litter. Got directions immediately and found it with no problem .. but they had no cat litter... sent me to the Dollar store .
They have litter at the dollar store ???
This is not strictly a dollar store like I knew but it wasn't expensive and it was cat litter so I was pleased.
But this all took place in a sudden thunder storm, driving in the dark in an area that I am clueless about.

This is when those Southern traits show up and my memories stir of elderly ladies saying Bless your heart, or God love you honey .. and though they are total strangers and probably say this a dozen times a day, it is so soothing and comforting.
I was worried about the storm, being in an unknown area and not knowing how safe it was .
This small frail woman started talking to me about cats .. of course, I was holding a bag of litter !
And she was so sweet and then said her heart was failing.
She could die at any time.
But she bought her pack of cigarettes and said goodbye and wished me a happy life in my new home ..
What could I say ? I told her I hoped next year I was in Florence again and I would run into her at the Dollar store. She gave me a hug.
Because we both know I wouldn't be seeing her next year ..

I drove back to the hotel in a lightening storm, went to the desk and met the new dog staying in the hotel.
He loved me. He was beautiful, smelled good and just wanted me to hold him and flatter him some more. I was perfectly happy to indulge his wishes, his owners smiled and said he was always friendly but he had obviously fallen in love.
He was a small , black .. poodle ..

So the computer is working, I found the right wires to juice it up, Merlin is so content and snoring away curled up next to me .. that is the way he takes a ride in the car too.
Minette is having a bath on the chair by the window that looks out over all of South Carolina.. with lightening now and then.

I will be glad to arrive in my new town.
Not just because I am tired of driving but I am looking forward to this New Beginning.. no snowbound sadness, no being afraid of Everything .. alone and sad. Even though I will be sad at times, it won't be the same as being sad in isolation.

The cats and I will have to keep an eye out for a baby puppy like I met today - make our little tribe complete.

More tomorrow ............



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