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My husband and I , with our dog, Tate, moved to Buenos Aires.. Life has never been the same since ~ Back in the USA ... life is still not the same !
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

To My Blogging Friends - A Promise.

I have been told in an email, that someone who I thought was a good friend, is not that interested in continuing any sort of email "friendship" ,,, apparently I was more interesting when I lived in Argentina, or maybe when I had a husband , or maybe when that person was not such a dick.

But whatever the real reason, I guess this is the risk one runs, when blogging, when even having an online "friendship" with strangers ... this "friendship" was for years though. I think it was good while it lasted.
I think maybe part of the appeal was that I was not a widow, living in NY but part of a couple who lived in Argentina .. somewhere different .. maybe a bit exotic .. my husband was a charmer, quite interesting and a world traveler way before I met him.
I wish I had taped all his stories to me about his travels, the people he met , the people he knew, jazz musicians from California, Religious people from India, literary people from London, not to mention the fabulous people in NYC ... famous authors, Radio personalities, models and photographers, artists .. it was an enchanted time.

As the years went by, we went  from one kind of life to another .. the city couple with a small child. The couple in the suburbs with 2 children in private schools, the successful business man deciding to retire early and go out and play.
The travels, the places we went .. the stars shone on us, the sun was bright over us, the world was ours.

His stories were fascinating and I wish I had taped them to hear again and again.
As the years went by, we had our own adventures and trips and new friends from all over the place!

Then we went to Argentina to live, which was something we both were inclined to do .. visit somewhere, like it , move there ~

This time it was deep love .. we were enchanted with that city !
The people ! the place, the music, the look of it, the sound of it, the smell of it, the taste of it.

We were so happy.

And on that note, I will be happy too.  I will discard useless things and people who are not kind and only surround myself with good people with open minds and huge hearts.
Anyone can collect a bunch of dogs and seem to be warm hearted, it is the way they are in real life that matters.
So the cats and I are about to be off on another adventure.
Blogging may be difficult at times.
I hope you are there when I do manage .. I have a month to be ready to leave here and go South.
From there we shall see what's next...

I will blog when possible. Maybe every night , maybe not.

I hope you stay .. I appreciate you for being here this long.
I will try to only have Good Adventures to write about ... I promise.

12 comments:

A.Smith said...

Ah, how well I know this backward/s and forward/s, as in more than once instance.

If this of comfort, although it can never be anything to sooth the betrayal of a friendship even if one sided, after all this time I believe this to be a blessing in disguised at least for me.

The first time it happened to me actually her oldest son, once he found out that she too decided I was of no use anymore now that I was a widow, once married to a Physicist, able to make a stone laugh, a lover of travel and fun to be with, we were such a pair, he was in shocked. He wrote to me and ask me if I could forgive her, that she really didn't understand I would have done anything for her if the situation would have been reversed - which I had already done when she was divorced, by the way - and I told him that as much as I truly appreciated his trying, I was actually finally cured of false friendships. Inoculated, aware, I realized I never wanted to fall into that trap again. Because I am the one to be blamed.

There is a certain naïveté in believing that others would do as we may, not because we are better or superior, but because in a case such as this I would put a hand out and tell them to hold on, since she should know if she is truly my friend that I am not a husband thief, that no one in my heart or my bed could ever take the place of my late husband, that I am not going to expect anything to change between us because we are friends and a friend as my Mother used to say, a real friend is like blood, it comes to the wound without ever having to be called. And stays there, without questions or expectations to help healing the wound no matter how long it takes, if ever.

So let it hurt, all betrayals should and often do, but with the pain comes the lesson to forget about those people, forgive? I am not that noble. I have no reason to forgive, eventually I know something called Karma will take care of that, and I will continue to be me, not better perhaps, not worse but me, innocent enough to once have believed that my "friend" would always be there for me and in the end be both surprised and grateful she is no longer there.

Have a safe and wonderful journey, I look forward to hear about you new adventure. And I am dying to find out how the two kitties will be, they say you truly get to know a person by traveling with them. I wonder if this too applies to the feline princesses.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Thank you so very much A.Smith.
The cats will no doubt take over the blog and let everyone know how miserable they were in their crate and how lumpy the beds were all the way down South .. where they will probably complain about the humidity and mosquitoes. :)

Anonymous said...

I have found many friends disappear even in real life not sure why ,but as we age it seems our lives get smaller,and opportunities to make new friends do not seem to present themselves.I also find people get more miserable as they age and i have difficulty dealing with that,so i say that although you might be lonely ,it is better than having grumpy in your life.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Grumpy I can deal with .. cruel not so much. But this person is in my past now .. and I am looking only Forward ..
besos..

Shawn Maeder said...

I lost many friends when I finally kicked my husband out. Amazingly, friends were reluctant to believe that he was having an affair, and had been for several years. Friends?

I hope the actual move goes as smoothly as possible and that you find good people when you get there. xxx

NotesFromAbroad said...

Thank you Shawn, I think you are one of the "good people" :)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that this happened but I love your attitude and it will serve you well in your new home. I look forward to hearing about your new adventures.

By the way I have a friend who moved with cats and their recommendation was not to let the cats out in the car to go to the bathroom in a litter box. They had a very hard time getting the cat back in its crate. You probably already know this!

Safe travels.
Carrie

Jacqueline @ HOME said...

Wishing you a great ' new life ' Candice and don't waste anymore time thinking about that so called friend. People that we think of as friend's, often disappoint..... I'm sure that you will make lots of new ones in the coming months. Hope the move goes welll and we look forward to hearing all about it. XXXX

Graham Hunt said...

Good luck on the move and look forward to reading about it here when you can.

I find it funny that someone ends a "friendship" like that. I never see a "friendship" ending unless something dramatic happens! Some fade away but for me that is just a friendship in abeyance not ended as such.

That probably says more about me than anything else though

NotesFromAbroad said...

Thank you ... really .. I think if this person had just wanted to get on with her new life with no old friends, she might have been nicer about it, I think she meant to be hurtful, she fooled me, she is a bitch and I didn't realize it. Oh well, I guess we constantly live and learn.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Graham, one might have to be a drama queen and or just a hateful person. Either way, I feel now after the surprise is over, that both did me a favor. I don't need toxic people in my life ..

cigalechanta said...

I've . been in your shoes. My husband was a journalist with the Boston Globe and our lives were filled with lots of interesting invitations and events. He played tennis and sang in a chorus. When he retired he taught poetry and wring at three schools. After he died,
many kept contact but slowly dwindled away or died. Married couples don't like having a single woman along. I'm lucky to have a few couples who include me.I sold or gave away my evening clothes. Too many locked in memories. We didn't have much money but always plenty of food and wine. The ones who took advantage of that were the first to disappear. things will slowly get better for you and will surprise yourself how strong you are. It was so difficult for me because my husband did so much, I don't drive and he took care of finances. Life became a learning experience.

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