It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Monday, February 29, 2016

Finding My Way Again

It has been a day of quietly nice chores and things happening.
It is very cold out. Dangerously. But the sun shone and there were very few clouds and no threat of snow so far.

I went to the market to pick up some things then scurried home .. driving past a little area here in my town that calls to me.
I swear, if someone were to give me a small push and a house appeared for the right price, I would buy it and stay here.
I know it is cold and hard here but I am used to it now.

So I came home from the store and had a visitor .. I love her, she is so so nice and that cheered up my day so much.
You don't realize how lonely it can be to live alone in an area where your neighbors are all quite old, never come out and there really isn't much to do.
Summer it is a totally different place but this area, in winter, is for families to live in .. not widows with no family.
I will be sad to leave here. It is a place that could have been the best place yet. Instead, the sadness that hangs over me keeps me stuck in one place.. so I have high hopes that the move South will be all for the Good.

I made the decision on movers. There was a choice between 2 .. both huge companies, well known. Expensive.
I went for the one that was one thousand dollars less. They will pack and crate big things and fragile things .. Tomorrow the man will come by and hopefully leave me a bunch of bubble wrap and some boxes.

The cats have spent the entire day, so far, curled up on cushions on the sofa , sleeping.
Merlin is warm and snug and so contented. When I whisper in his ear, he doesn't move, doesn't open an eye but he purrs really loudly.

Minette reached out with her little paw today and gently touched my cheek. I was waiting for her to scratch me or bite my nose ( she loves to bite my nose) but no .. she just gave mama a pat on the cheek.

We will be fine.
We will drive on a weekend.
We will stop when we feel like it, there is no deadline to be anywhere.
We will sleep together in a big bed in a hotel each night and eat in the room too.

And at the end of the road, will be the Ocean. Sunshine. Warmth. A young Viking whose Grandmother needs to kiss him. A daughter who needs a hug. and more cats, god help us :)

I am daydreaming about apartments with views of the ocean. Condos with golf courses and palm trees and everything brand new. St Augustine is calling to me.

I look forward to Movie Night once a week with my daughter .. and the boy if he wants to come along.
Going to the cinema in the middle of the week is fun.
I have not been to a movie since I got here.
In Buenos Aires, the films changed each week on Thursday. Which happened to be the day our cleaning lady came.
So we would leave the apt and the dog and go to see a movie.
Coming home to a happy dog and a clean home.
And dinner out because no one was making a mess in that clean kitchen !

I have to make my own routines now. movies, shopping, sightseeing .. alone or with someone, I will explore and be out and find my way again.
I have high hopes, great expectations, a positive outlook .. dreams ..

Did I mention the apartment with huge windows that looks out over the ocean ?
It keeps coming back to me ... it would be like living in a movie.

So there you have it ... hopefully one positive step leads to another and we will be moving right along ..


  1. Yeah! This is the post I've been longing to see you write dear Candice! It's been long and hard for you, and there were times I was truly concerned about you. Now I'm so proud of what you've accomplished and I really think you are making all the right moves by going south.

    Our very best wishes - and the nice thing is, we will still be in touch thanks to blogging. Not like old days when our favorite neighbors/friends moved away and we suddenly lost contact and lived the years following wondering.

    Love, Mary and Bob

  2. Thank you my dears. Hopefully we will have all kinds of adventures to blog about - driving alone with 2 cats from the NorthEast USA to the Southeast ... oy !

  3. It won't be long now....the sun beckons...the view....the smells....the skies....
    You deserve it, and so much more my friend....
    Linda :o)

  4. Good luck. Those hugs you're heading toward are worth it!


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