It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Friday, February 12, 2016

" Friends "

If you are friends with someone, be a friend because you like them and enjoy talking to them .. be there when they need a friend but be there just because ... you are a friend.

But if you are not someone's friend... then don't even start.
Leave them alone.
Let them find real friends.

When you need a friend, find someone honest and sincere.
Value them. You never know when you will need one .

When someone considers you a friend, unless they are your pen pal in prison, value their friendship.
Giving one's friendship is special.
Making someone think you are their friend and you are not, is deceitful  and unkind.

My daughter used to think , when she was about 4 ... that everyone who smiled at her was their friend. They probably wanted to be, she was adorable.
She referred to half the people in town as her friend. But she grew up .. she knew what the real meaning of Friend was and she values that and she is a magnificent friend herself.

My son has a friend that he made when he was in Kindergarten.
To see these two men , laughing and talking .. and remember them as little scamps playing in the yard .. those are friends...

I have friends from when I was 19. We have been through a lot of crazy stuff, wonderful stuff and everything else.
She still calls me her old nickname from when we were 19.
And we can still fall over weak with laughter talking about things.

She would never and I would never say , that we were no longer friends because she lives in California and I live in NY.
Location isn't what makes a friend.

When she got divorced and was heartbroken. . I talked to her every day.
We supported each other through bad times as well as giggling on the phone like kids.
We are friends.

I have learned , sadly in the past couple of years, that people act like/pretend to be friends for their own reasons. Not the real reason, you are someone's friend because you like them and you care about what happens in their lives. Whether you visit each other every day or only email, you act like a friend because you are one.
I , at my advanced old lady age, have still gotten hurt by adults who for some reason of their own, have pretended to be friends.
I only learn from that ... not to trust. And to miss my husband more because he would know in a minute if that person was honest ..

So be a Friend or don't. But don't be so unkind as to pretend you are for some odd reason.
Fake Friends are so not what anyone needs in their life, at any time.

This is after having a conversation recently with someone ( a real friend ) and we were both talking about people we knew and what we thought and how things turned out - whether we saw it coming or not .. we had our doubts but hoped to be wrong .. we were not wrong . We were disappointed.


  1. I'm sorry someone disappointed you :-( It's really important to value a true friendship.

  2. Oh that's ok .. we are adults, things change, people change .. Important thing to remember is the value the real friends you have and not fuss over the ones who disappoint you.


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