It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Lying in the Dark Dreaming

There was a time that I lay in the dark dreaming of a new place to live.
Sometimes it would be a place I read about in a novel, a place I had seen  in a magazine, or heard a story about.

Sometimes it would be a setting in a movie .
I would see me there instead of the main characters .. I like that.

Those would have me living in the Cotswolds in England, taking long rambles through the countryside, avoiding the fields where large bulls would graze.
Sitting down to tea with my husband and deciding if dinner was going to be at the local Pub or perhaps I would cook.. for a change.

Or we would be wandering the back streets of Montmartre where I would buy the small amount of food we could afford and take it back to our garrett, on the 10th floor of the charming walk-up that we could afford.
We were very fit in those dreams.

Now I just daydream about moving back to the country we are from, to the state that we are from, to the family that we miss.

But of course, all this dreaming enables me  to take the house that was For Sale, that I  saw online and imagine our furniture in the rooms, our new dog and cat , along with a garden .

So now it is all about throwing things away and looking at the Real Estate websites.
And I lie in the dark, dreaming of the old farmhouse with a large front porch  where grand babies might come stay and grandmothers can dote upon them.

I think my husband just dreams of finding the right car .
Then the right house in the right town.
And driving.
You don't realise how much you like to drive until you live for years without a car.

I have not driven a car in 5 years.

I have not sat in the front seat of a car in 5 years.
I have not eaten Turkey and dressing or cranberry sauce.
I have not had lobster.
I have not had pasta with calamari.
I have not shopped in one J Crew, Banana Republic, Bloomingdales or Saks !
Feel sorry for me yet ?

So when I can't sleep, I lie in the dark and ... rock babies, drive cars , shop and eat.


  1. You haven't eaten turkey in 5 years?!?! Not even for your own Thanksgiving?!



  2. I think that we don't realize what we have or how much we love what we have until it's gone, (or goes away for awhile.) :) That statement is true. I've been feeling restless lately. But i want to travel. I've been wondering what it would be like to live abroad. But we love our life here. On the one hand, i can't imagine not owning a car and not driving. Then there are days when i'm sitting in traffic and i want to scream. So what do i really want? lol. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I might change my mind tomorrow. I hope you can move back soon! I think i'd miss turkey and cranberry too, but i might miss pumpkin pie more. :)

  3. This is Summertime , Milsters and even if I found a turkey here , it would be miserable to roast it .. and making a stuffing would be difficult and I have never seen any cranberry products.
    I don't actually miss them but when I think back, it is something that I did for all those years back in the US .. I will be doing it again :)

    Mary, pumpkin pie, yes. My husband misses the pasta with mussels and buying fresh lobster :)
    We have lived in cities without a car before, but there were cars to rent and places to drive. This country is so huge, it takes days to get anywhere.. and the roads are not that safe .
    Luckily, the city is huge and we love it here anyway .. but things are changing ..


Comments are welcome..Thank you.

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