It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Monday, March 28, 2016

On Our Way ~

Tomorrow, the cats and I will begin our new adventure.

I booked the hotel today, the air smells like apples .. we will sleep on a big fat bed with comforters and no sound but a car going by now and then ..

After the past few days of frenzied packing and and today signing the last of the official papers, I can leave with just memories and cats . A day of rest and a  good nights sleep .. we will be ready to head South.

I decided not to make it one of those drive til you get there trips but I will just drive, stop when I feel like it, take photos and make it the way my husband used to say ... Make it a Treat, Not a Treatment.
So I have to drive to Florida, it will be an adventure.

I didn't get my phone with maps and things so I will have to rely on the old fashioned cell phone and maps.
I have cameras and cats, what else do I need ??

When I arrive in Florida , there will be a frenzy of house hunting then I will be all set.
And after an appropriate amount of resting time ... I want to check on airfares to Argentina.
Buenos Aires and I have unfinished business.

So it will be quiet here for a little while.
I hope everyone has a good week ... talk to you soon ~

Friday, March 25, 2016


Just walking down the sidewalks to our favorite cafe in Buenos Aires ..

Packing ...

My suitcase is almost as big as the car and now I think it is heavier than the car.
These are the clothes and shoes that I will need to wear for the amount of time that it will take for me to find a home and have the movers deliver my furniture . So it might be a little while.

I only packed nice summer things .. not many shoes. I can shop when I get there.
But ... I could not lift the bag to get it in the car.
After measuring, I discovered that it is too big to go in the back with the crate which is about the same size as the suitcase.

I need a larger car.

It isn't even about how much is in it ( that would be the weight which might kill me ) but the general size.. the large dog crate and suitcase fill the back of the car .. I think .. I couldn't get the suitcase lifted to actually test it ..

And there aren't even that many shoes packed !!

And I don't know if the back door of the car will close .. sloping car door, straight up and down case.

I am contemplating ...
1- take a lot of clothes out of the bag .. ship them.
2-get a bigger car .
3- leave the clothes for the movers and go shopping upon arrival. (this is my favorite idea)..

I guess the only thing to do is just repack and take a smaller bag and go straight to Anthropologie upon arrival.
There really is no other solution.
Poor me.
Being forced to shop.
sigh ~

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

My Birthday

If I could spend my birthday any way I wanted,  I would .....

* Spend it with my husband

* Go to lunch with a friend in Nice, France.

* Go to lunch with friends in London.

* Party for a few days with friends in Buenos Aires

* Take my son and his family and my daughter and her young'un and go to a warm safe place where most of the people smile most of the time and the weather is mostly sunny with a few clouds :)

* Go Back In Time

Thank you to everyone for e-cards and notes of cheer and birthday wishes.
It's funny, I get as much of a kick out of birthday wishes as I did when I was a kid. My parents must have done something right !

So today I am spending my birthday ... packing.
I think my nephew (in law) is bringing my sister in law to visit.
This is his gift to me, whether he knows it or not ... they are among the very few people left in my life who are so very very dear to me.

So please, do go out at lunch or in the afternoon .. or if you must wait, tonight at 5:00 ... have a drink and toast me.
I will do the same .. Cheers to you all !!

***** I was taken out for lunch and it was a lovely visit with a bit of sadness saying goodbye *****

My daughter sent me a bottle of my favorite perfume that her dad used to buy me .. so very very thoughtful and sweet. I had a little cry and now I am fine. She is such a good girl.

**** My realtor is taking me to lunch tomorrow .. we are joking about drinking and selling real estate.. uhoh ... ****

**** My son called to wish me a Happy Birthday. Then the baby wanted to talk to me.
Hap Birthday Gramma !  he said .
Thank you, I said.
He hung up.  :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

This , That and The Other

I like a man who recognizes the sound of a woman near the breaking point.
Especially when he has never seen me, met me or really doesn't know me at all.

I am packing, losing things, finding things, wondering what I wanted with the things .. packing them.
Stopping now and then to be sure there is no kitty hiding in a box about to be taped shut.
We will not discuss that nightmare someone had.
I will put bells on them I think  ... it might help with the nightmares.

The mover called.

I have been thinking all morning that I have to have it all ready then I will stay in the little motel then leave the next day with the cats. But I forgot the part about getting to Florida before the truck and where will they store it and all that anxiety inducing Stuff.

So he said I am confirming our plans.
I said, Yes.

He said they will pick up and move everything out of the house ... into the truck ... which will go to their Secure Facility where it will be stored ( in NY ! ) until I call them from my new home in Florida and then they will drive down and return my dear belongings to me.
Suddenly, the load got lighter, the day got brighter, I relaxed just a tiny bit.

I don't have to be at the closing. I love my attorney. You don't ever ever want him coming after you but you would not be unhappy if he was on your side. 

So I bought bubble wrap and boxes yesterday.
I have to go out and get boxes now. oy.

A huge pressure has been lifted off of me.

Now if I can just not think about the news and what happened today and stay in my quiet little bubble with 2 cats and no thoughts of grief or loss.
Sometimes I think what a fabulous world this is ... then today, after seeing the news, I thought was a hideous world this is getting to be.

Sending my thoughts out to all of those people who are impacted personally by this tragedy in Belgium, this hideous harming of innocents, this outrage against civilized people.

Monday, March 21, 2016

A Different Kind of Celebration

My Birthday is on the 23rd ... 2 days from now.

Now .. on a birthday when no one is visiting, it is just you and your 2 cats. what would you do ?
I thought about getting my haircut .. a bit of pampering. But I kind of like that it is this  long ..

No point in a manicure, I am packing.

If I weren't driving myself .. I would have a drink in a nice place in town .. but not alone.
And I don't know anyone to ask .. and I am not sitting at the bar by myself  ..
Frank Sinatra music would play and the bartender would talk to me .. yikes ...

I could maybe shop online .. but will it be delivered in time ... no.. and it would make me anxious.

You can picture it .. the movers are putting the furniture in the back of the truck and I am telling them we can't leave until the UPS guy arrives !!
No .. no shopping online.

Chocolate ? hmmmm I could go into town and buy some posh chocolate and the cats can watch me eat it on my birthday. Yeah, that might work.

If you have any ideas, let me know. Maybe I will get flowers and wear one in my hair.

Hotels, Cats, Driving for days ..

A safe clean place for the cats and I to sleep .. is that asking too much ??

I started checking the hotels etc in Jacksonville for a place to stay.
We stayed at the La Quinta Inns wherever we went when we traveled with Pup.
They were all nice.
And very affordable .. the one that stands out in my mind as fabulous was the brand new La Quinta somewhere in  Oklahoma ? I don't remember what state but there were Tornado warnings upon our arrival ... Nothing came of it, we had a fabulous room with a view of sky and not much else which was lovely.
Pup loved it, the huge bed made my road weary husband happy and I was just content to stay in a hotel.
Yes, I would live in a hotel if I could.
Actually I did , once upon a time, it spoiled me . Forever. Really.

All the La Quinta Hotels that I have looked at so far in Jacksonville are not what I remembered.
And more expensive. I have no idea how long the house hunt will take so it matters how long I stay in a hotel.

It is the Little Things like this that throw me for a loop.
Something I took for granted and now at this late date, I am having to readjust the thinking, the search and the whole idea.
Location means something .. safety and cleanliness and all that ... of course but I don't want to spend my days lost and trying to find an area .. there won't be a lot of help when I get there so I need to be sure of myself , alone.
which really sucks.

All of this just makes me want to put everything into storage and fly to Buenos Aires.
Where there are friends, family and it is familiar.

Maybe the Gulf Coast would be a better idea lol ....

A Good Reason To Cry

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Mama Dove

Our Buenos Aires apartment had a large balcony off the front bedroom and off of the living room.
One both balconies plus the little wrought iron plant holder I had off the kitchen window, had doves nests every year.
I made sure no one opened doors or windows to disturb mama.
Only one year do I remember babys making it to the age of flying away. They were so tiny and so helpless .. falling out, something snatching them away, just disappearing one day .. it was awful but it was lovely when they started to get downy and funny looking but cute. Then they were tiny doves, then they grew and without a goodbye or I will send a card, they were gone. I saved the empty nests, just in case a tired mama dove came long one Spring and was happy to not have to build another nest.

Here they are .... these two made it .. they were little doves when they flew away ..

Yes,  there is Mama Dove and 2 babies ..

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Hot Cold Love Hate

So I woke to a warm quiet room with sleeping kitties on the bed.
How I love them.
I went right back to sleep.
I woke with sleeping kitties on the bed but had to get up, the idea of all the packing left to do gets me anxious.
I went to the coffee pot, set the night before to be waiting for me with life giving liquid .. and noticed the kitchen was awfully cold.
I looked at the thermostat and the temps are low in the house ... they should be higher.

So after dressing and realizing that it is really chilly in the house ! I went down to the basement of doom.

My furnace is not on.
All I knew to do was check the fuses, all fine.
Check plugs, no leaks, no reason but that it is the coldest day of the year, a perfect day to stop working.

My bedroom is warm as toast, electric heat, thenk yew veddy much.
But the rest of the house is chilly and while the sun shining   is nice, it isn't going to do much tonight.
So I have to get a plumber in on Saturday and pay a gazillion dollars for a 5 minute diagnosis with a 50 dollar wire being replaced. ( Yeah, I am onto these guys .. up here .. at this house ...)

At least my bedroom is warm.
I can always take the microwave in there and live with the cats until moving day.

Which reminds me .... ever put a small piece of tape on a cats foot ?
It is funny. She didn't think so but I fell over laughing. ( I know- laughs are scarce here sometimes)
Then I made it up to her, the stinkiest cat food for breakfast.

So after a couple of days of being very sad at the ugly, very ugly behavior and hate directed at me by 2 people that  I have considered to be   friends for a couple of years now, I am resolved to not put any faith into what people say or do on the internet and wait until I am actually in person and able to speak and laugh and talk to people before I allow them to be in the position to be cruel and hateful.
(this does not include any of you - you are trustworthy and thankfully humane)

And these people I considered real friends .. one sent me beautiful wind chimes, gifts after my husband died.
Then I read my emails and they are hateful and ugly. Go figure.

The people down the street love the wind chimes I gave them.
Now to find a repairman ...

A Little Jazz to Start Your Day

Friday, March 18, 2016

Opt to Adopt / for the love of a house

 Adopt a dog , a puppy, a kitten, an old cat ... Adopt . There are so many waiting for a home , for some tender words and touches, for some love. Not much different from us, are they ?

I adopted both of my cats, crazy little kitten Minette and sweeter than sweet old Merlin .. Minette is a Russian Blue and Merlin is a Himalayan, so people should not think that because they are adopted they are just mutts or stray cats . They are animals without homes and families, that is what we are here for .. to give them a home and keep them as our family.

click on Adopt


Friday Foto- The View

This is the view from our living room. Across a wide boulevard .. a taste of Paris in Buenos Aires.

I love the view where I live now. Trees, grass, trees, fields .. more trees. Oh and skies, lots of sky. Sometimes snow .. a lot of snow .. too much snow.

Soon my view will be sunshine, a palm tree perhaps, an ocean perhaps ... but no snow. A good thing.

I miss that view , across the street, the neighborhood, the people , the Place.
I have to go back ..  check out the view.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Fast Moving System, High chance of 4 inches or greater

The meteorologist just said words like these .... A fast moving system, a high chance of 4 inches of snow or greater ... then my mind shut down.

There is coffee and enough cat food. If I am careful not to eat too much, I will make it through this one last snow storm and then I am so out of here .... there are no words.

The cats can see their last snow.
I will be reading .. online ... sleeping ... packing !!
There is no excuse now for me not to be ready to leave ... there is nothing else for me to do but pack.
And take a kitty play break now and then.

This is NY seeing me off .. wishing me well... hoping I enjoy warm temperatures .. and no snow.
Ever again.

Buenos Aires continues to look good. They don't get snow. But they get winter and fall and everything else but no snow. But the summers are not intolerable .
This ..... is a good thing.

Florida is a little too heavy on the hot and humid summers ... we will see.

I have to find that apartment with only the ocean in the view .. who cares if I can afford it ????

So in less than a month, I will be On The Road ... stay tuned. oy vey.
**** I woke to a soft  rain .. no snow ... ****

Minette the blogger

Minette & Merlins Blog

You might enjoy her take on what is going on around here.
She asked to use the computer for a few minutes. I was so curious, what had gotten in to her.
She started yawning right away so she did her little post then left. She and Merlin are napping.

I would like to join them.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Mean Girls

Well, it had to happen, sooner or later.
I was attacked by 2 old friends , like mad dogs .. or bitches if you wish ... which really is close to exactly what they are.

Minding my own business, trying to sort out the moving, selling, driving, huge changes in my life .. getting advice from people who have been "friends" for years, strangers met on the internet, laughs and advice and jokes and photos and stories about trips and husbands and pets .. typical "online friends" ... but at one time, to me, they were just plain Friends.
People who comforted me when my husband died, She gave me tips on being able to stand to sleep alone in that big bed... in that big scary empty room ... with no ones arms around me to allow me to relax and sleep a blissful sleep wrapped in love.

These people knew just about everything there is to know about me.
They were friends when I was living in Buenos Aires and seemed to love getting emails from there, daily life is a little different in Argentina than for your typical person in the US .. I grew up in North Carolina, Buenos Aires is about as far from that life as being on Mars.
I lived in San Francisco and LA ... both another planet compared to Buenos Aires .. although I seem to remember there were a few nice people in SF .. but that was years ago .. I know NYC has a lot of similarities to BA .. except nowhere had the sweetness of everyday encounters with strangers on the street, the daily small kindness shown .. to everyone . Their love for children .. their love for dogs.. their interest in anyone who came from NY or anywhere else I think .. They were open hearted.
Living among them, I hoped I would become just like them :)

Now back to the US ... tragedy struck 7 months after arriving back in NY.
I was suddenly thrown into a life of isolation, fear , not knowing what to do when or how.
It took me months to be able to get through a day without crying, sobbing, lost and alone and so very frightened .. of everything.
And those two friends were a bright light in those days.

I have made friends with my neighbors .. they are all in their 80s .. we don't go shopping together or hang out and have a bunch of laughs. But they are kind and sweet and watch out for me.
If they see someone strange in my yard, they tell me. It was only the realtor ... they say they are sad to know I am leaving, they say they understand why I am leaving.

This is the kindness I received from 2 relative strangers in their 80s ... but 2 people that I have known online for years now, attacked me, in a malicious and as unkind way as possible.
From out of the blue.
One left her husband, maybe she was never really as nice as she pretended to be online.
One seemed content with his life .. maybe not ... maybe I was a good target for pent up anger and hate.

Too bad about that. I hope they feel better now. Too bad that is the way they will be remembered, for a short time, before that memory is gone .. with all the other ugly bad memories I might have had.

Good though- no point in being fooled that people you confide in are really strangers that dislike you and do not wish you well.

So I learned another lesson .. my husband would shake his head and give me a kiss and then insult everything about them until I laughed helplessly.
He was good at that. He was one of the Good Ones. Lucky me.
Too bad those people don't have that.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Schubert Serenade

I need this sort of music these days ... especially at night ... hope you enjoy it too.

Monday, March 14, 2016

Gentle Giants

A rampaging elephant smashed its way through a village in India. Smashing and destroying the fragile little homes that the people lived in.
When it heard a baby crying, it turned back and carefully removed the debris from around the infants body.
The parents were eating dinner when they heard cracking and crashing sounds ..

"We ran over and were shocked to see the wall in pieces and a "tusker" standing over our baby" said the father in an interview.
"the baby was crying, there were huge chunks of wall lying all around and on the cot."

The elephant, which officials say, has killed three people, carefully removed the rubble away from the baby and headed back into the forest.

The father said he could not believe that the elephant saved his daughter after breaking down the walls and door.
" We watched it, amazed, as it gently removed the debris that had fallen on her. It was a miracle."

The couple took the baby to the hospital where she was treated for external injuries but otherwise found to be in good health.

Conflict   has increased in parts of India in recent years because villages have expanded into land that  is part of the Elephants migration routes.
Herds of elephants ( can you imagine ?!) routinely raid farms and destroy houses but do not attack people.'

Unless people attack an elephant, these gentle giants do not harm human   beings. They are  only  down here in search of food "
said forestry official Puruia Porkasj.

Six months ago, villagers from Indias Madarihat reported than an elephant herd, carefully removed a little girl from harms way before smashing several houses.

Monday- the beginning

Days are going by faster now. Closing day is weeks away.
I am not packed. Right now I am not even dressed ! Pajamas are good for making lists in.
You can do it without stress.
Shower, dress, then stress comes along with the many things to do and is there enough time and that shadow of sadness hanging over it all.

Sad that my husband is gone and therefore I will leave. It would have been fine here with him.
Sad that everything is harder and not half as much fun, doing it all alone.
Sad that people who I counted on over the years to be friends and kind, became Mean Girls and were beyond cruel and hateful to me in emails.
Thankfully, I don't live near them and can block them and that takes care of that. It is just the bad memory that will be left and that will go too ... Also the knowledge that people like that are never really happy, otherwise they would never be so ugly to other people. People who were only kind to them.

I will be sure to pick my friends much more carefully though, thanks for that lesson, B and M.
And if this is the type of people they are, Friends are probably very scarce in their lives.

The cats are enjoying the big boxes. I check each night to be sure they are not sleeping in one.
Today Minette fell into one, lost her footing ...  bump ... mamaaaaa ...
Merlin stood and stared at the box. He couldn't say anything so staring helped me know which box to look in. He is a good boy. Much better than some  humans lol

So a perfect rainy day to pack. To make plans for the new life. To adjust my thinking.
Monday- the beginning of the week ... the beginning of a lot of things ..

Sunday, March 13, 2016

A Friend Indeed

A Friend who will not send hate mail, mock your loss, pretend they are anything other than people who are two faced, sneaky and loathsome ..

What a lesson to learn at this time in my life.

But one thing is for sure, this lesson will not be forgotten. And I don't think I will be the only one to know who did this to me, who needed to add cruelty and hate to their resume.

The days are counting down. I am having company.
There is nothing to eat lol and boxes everywhere.
Which might be fun for a little boy but his daddy ?

Maybe I will get to go out to eat .. or at least bring something in ... or they can eat deviled eggs and call it lunch :)

Have a good day .. I hope the sun is shining where you are. It is very grey and dreary here ... but no snow so I am not complaining.

besos ...

Friday, March 11, 2016

Some Wise Words from a Wise Person

Don't take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.
When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others
You won't  be the victim of needless suffering.

Here Kitty

I know I don't need another cat but if I found this one ... Minette would be part of a Threesome.
Enjoy your Friday ... Have a good weekend ... I will be here ... packing ... packing ..

Now there is just me

Today was a tough one.
I lost friends. I missed them and now they are gone. Of their own free will.
Times change, minds change, friends change, out with the old, in with the new.
I just sit here , it all happens around me ... goodbye .. goodbye ..
I loved you .. you were a good friend...I valued you.

There are days that I miss my husband so much I find it hard to move.
The house move and packing and all the things that have to be remembered and thought of and lists to be written and calls to be made... it overwhelms me and all I can do is wish he was here.

And then there is the fact that when I leave this house .. with its good and terrible memories ... I will leave the last place we lived together .. the last place where I can still see him in my minds eye in those rooms, on that riding lawnmower, grinning like a kid ... that city boy with nothing but glee on his face.

Seeing one of those star filled skies on a summer night and a shooting star ... with his arms wrapped around me to keep me warm, as we stood in the back garden , me leaning back against him as we both looked up ..
We had years together, but it wasn't enough !
We had so many more adventures to go on !

I dream of Buenos Aires and our home and our friends and our neighborhood.
I need to go there. I need to see if it is the same or missing something ... missing him ...
Will somewhere completely new be better, no ghosts, no sadness, no memories in any corner waiting to surprise me and make me stop and take a deep breath.
The cats must think me mad... sitting on the bed with his old sweater, crushed to my face, hoping there is still a tiny scent of him left. It is gone. He is gone.

When things were good, it was impossible to imagine anything could ever not be good.
When things were bad, we knew they would be good again.
Nothing was ever that bad ... little blips that we would have to get around, but as long as we had each other, nothing was too bad or too difficult or too unpleasant.
Now ... things aren't really bad. But they aren't really good.
Small things seem difficult, so many little things come along to upset me, small silly things that wear me down .. out of the blue things that I never expected and then more loss.
When you have a huge loss, there is a day that you take stock of what you have left and you put a lot of value on it .. when you lose something else, it seems bigger, you think How can you keep going, how much can you take ?

We always had friends. We lived in cities where you meet people everywhere and you socialize.
The people that worked for him, his old friends, our new friends, there were always people to see or talk to.

We left them all behind in various cities and countries ... now there is just me.

Tomorrow I will begin to pack boxes again, I will do some laundry of summer/warm weather clothes and pack those in a suitcase. I will get out my shoes and bags for warm weather .. I will figure out exactly how to set the car up with suitcases and a large dog crate, and a litter box.
I will be a Traveling Circus for a few days ..

IF someone would go with me or help me, I will go buy myself a fancy schmancy phone to have on the trip, to take photos and to email.

On The Road ... that will be my book.
A Woman and Her Cats ... soon in a theatre near you.

** I think I should be honest about this "loss" of "friends" .. ***
I was emailed by one and insulted, hurt, cruel things were said, nasty ugly things were said .. I just sat there and wept .. how stupid I must be not to know what false ugly people these are, how my husband always warned me about the man, he never liked that idea that someone who had never met me could be that affectionate .. the man     spoke sweetly and lovingly to me. ( he is gay, not sweet talking me in that way) The woman who I always thought a lot of , admired for being so strong and liking dogs as much as she does. Obviously, she has a lot more care about dogs than she does humans .. at least this human.
I would defend these people when someone said something negative about them. Go figure.
So this is another reason , to listen to what my husband said ... go ahead and be friendly but never think these people are really your friends.  And boy was he right.

Thursday, March 10, 2016


A Foreign Movie

While some "city people " would love to look out the window and see sky and trees and green, our view from our living room was enchanting. Fabulous old buildings that made us think of Paris every time we looked out there ... nice big trees planted all the way down the streets .. one outside our window was home to doves and nests with babies keeping things less cold and barren and hard looking.

The doves also took over my kitchen window box, killing my new plants, the plants out on the balconies all bit the dust after the nests and babies came along .. But it was worth it to me, the nest building, the mama sitting on tiny eggs, the wobbly bald little babies then they fluffy cute babies then they were little doves and flew away.
Tate (the pup) was enchanted, he would watch them for hours.. whining a little, Mama... mamaaaa.. I want a bird ..

At night in Summer, they would throw open the windows, we could see a huge chandelier and sometimes they would have parties and we could hear ( hardly hear ) music.

So many times, living in Buenos Aires, it felt like we were living in a great foreign movie.

I really really want to be in that movie again !

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Mean Girls

So last night , worn out from making lists, packing boxes and wishing my husband was here, I got emails.
Now usually emails cheer a person up, give them something to read and respond to .. you know , normal Stuff.

These were from 2 people that I have been emailing and laughing around with for years now, on another website and in emails .. I always thought of them as friends. Real life friends. Not scary fake "friends" on the internet .

But it turned out, that they were not just Not Friends but they hate me. They were abusive, cruel and just oozing hate.
At first I couldn't believe it ... man, am I gullible !
Then I thought there must be a misunderstanding, maybe an episode of Drinking While Emailing ... but no, they were serious.
What is horrifying ,is that this didn't just happen that minute, these people have not liked me for a long time, perhaps never .
They were full of hate.
One of them is going through a marital split .. that could account for a bad mood but not like this !
The other seemed to be along as sidekick.
The Hateful sidekick.
Coming from out of the blue, someone who sent me a gift when my husband died, now being hateful and cruel in emails.
I am very disillusioned and sad .. I am a crap judge of character.
Maybe I should have stepped back .. there must have been signs, their kindness was not genuine, how can you tell that online ??

So the moral of this story is ...
Never completely trust someone you have not actually met in person.
I trusted them completely.
But I never really met them.
Maybe that would have made a difference.
Maybe not.
I learned a sad and unpleasant lesson.

I won't be as open as I always was. I have no husband to back me up, no one to give me an opinion, no one to make me feel secure.
The one thing I don't need is 2 hideous people like that in my life, ever.

So be careful of who you trust online.
When people told me that, I said I know them, they this and that ... I was wrong.
I did not know them and now I hope I never do.

I Will Be Strong

Everything happened at once !
The lawyers called, the buyer wants to move up the date .. first it was about 10 days now it is 3-4 days earlier.

The lawyer ( God bless this man I love him) told me I don't have to be there. I can pack and move and leave or be home still packing and leaving .. but I don't have to be there.
I feel OK about everything right now, but when it actually happens, it might be too sad for me.

I wonder if I could bring Merlin. He could be my Therapy cat , keeping me from weeping all over people when it all becomes Just Too Much. not really, I will be strong.

Funny how I relied on certain "friends" for comfort and just a shoulder to cry on in those early days and now none of them are around.
One is making her own new life and has no time for old friends and the others just dropped me.
I guess when you are not a barrel of laughs all the time, no one likes you much.
And of course some people consider the proper amount of showing false sympathy was all that would be expected of them.

So I am off soon, another adventure, this time alone ( if you don't count cats) and I plan on doing it all alone and well.
Happy days will be ahead .. and while I feel that I am going to be traveling lighter in the sense of less friends than before ... I remind myself that they were obviously not friends to begin with. So no loss.

The cats need to learn to use the tape dispenser .. or just sit on the box til I get it closed !!

Chau  for now ~ Florida here I come.

Even the trees are fabulous

                                       In "our"  Park in Buenos Aires

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

To My Blogging Friends - A Promise.

I have been told in an email, that someone who I thought was a good friend, is not that interested in continuing any sort of email "friendship" ,,, apparently I was more interesting when I lived in Argentina, or maybe when I had a husband , or maybe when that person was not such a dick.

But whatever the real reason, I guess this is the risk one runs, when blogging, when even having an online "friendship" with strangers ... this "friendship" was for years though. I think it was good while it lasted.
I think maybe part of the appeal was that I was not a widow, living in NY but part of a couple who lived in Argentina .. somewhere different .. maybe a bit exotic .. my husband was a charmer, quite interesting and a world traveler way before I met him.
I wish I had taped all his stories to me about his travels, the people he met , the people he knew, jazz musicians from California, Religious people from India, literary people from London, not to mention the fabulous people in NYC ... famous authors, Radio personalities, models and photographers, artists .. it was an enchanted time.

As the years went by, we went  from one kind of life to another .. the city couple with a small child. The couple in the suburbs with 2 children in private schools, the successful business man deciding to retire early and go out and play.
The travels, the places we went .. the stars shone on us, the sun was bright over us, the world was ours.

His stories were fascinating and I wish I had taped them to hear again and again.
As the years went by, we had our own adventures and trips and new friends from all over the place!

Then we went to Argentina to live, which was something we both were inclined to do .. visit somewhere, like it , move there ~

This time it was deep love .. we were enchanted with that city !
The people ! the place, the music, the look of it, the sound of it, the smell of it, the taste of it.

We were so happy.

And on that note, I will be happy too.  I will discard useless things and people who are not kind and only surround myself with good people with open minds and huge hearts.
Anyone can collect a bunch of dogs and seem to be warm hearted, it is the way they are in real life that matters.
So the cats and I are about to be off on another adventure.
Blogging may be difficult at times.
I hope you are there when I do manage .. I have a month to be ready to leave here and go South.
From there we shall see what's next...

I will blog when possible. Maybe every night , maybe not.

I hope you stay .. I appreciate you for being here this long.
I will try to only have Good Adventures to write about ... I promise.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Have a laugh .. go ahead .. I did .. it felt good.

Read these, look at the photos and have a good laugh. You will, I promise. "I wouldn't let him eat the rest of the football "

Reasons my son is crying

Sunday Morning Blues

Funny, I woke this morning feeling really sad.
It just sits on me and weighs me down.
But I keep going .. coffee, kittens, looking out the windows and memorizing the view, kittens...
I read some of my favorite blogs .. Going Gently being one of the first I read each day .. generally I can count on getting a few laughs from reading his blog. Obviously it is one of my favorite blogs ..

Today I saw an old mail in my inbox and I was happy ... for a moment ... it was from a "friend" who had been emailing with me for years .. sent me a beautiful gift in the mail after I became a widow.. someone I figured I would just be friends with for a very long time .. but it was an old mail.
I have not gotten an email from this person in months and months .. I was cut off.. discarded .. no more care from that one.

And that made me think of the one person that I figured I would be emailing, chatting, giggling and talking about dogs into Old Ladyhood ... She stopped .. one day I had no mail from her.
I wrote as usual and days went by and no mail from her.
It has been quite a while now .. she has joined the twosome of people who I was sure were Real friends, people who cared as much as I do.

So in case I am not sad enough, I can now count 2 friends lost .

If anyone else is feeling like jumping ship, please, be kind, send an email and just say why.
You don't have to stay, but don't be as mean as those two and just disappear.

The cats hate it that I am not online as much .. it means I bother them.
They can't take a proper nap now because I get lonely and go look for a cat to talk to.
Minette has coffee and milk with me in the mornings. Merlin naps a little longer.
I, at least know that I can count on them.
Now I know why there are so many of those little old ladies with cats ..

Time is moving along .. I am making sure of all the things that have to be cancelled, shut off, sent back ( satellite tv ...oy ! ) ..

I am semi-prepared in my mind for the long drive.

I should keep the laptop out and send nightly On The Road blogs ...
It will probably read something like this ...

Day two ... cats are meowing... cats are bored ... I am bored .... a lot of idiots on the road .. the hotel bed was lumpy ... cats liked it though .. I like fried fish sandwiches ... could'n't sleep last night, stomach ache ... where is Florida  ?????

Friday, March 4, 2016

Ever Wonder Why ?

In case you ever wondered why we fell in love with Buenos Aires in a short (10 days) visit , enough to store/sell/giveaway our furniture etc and move to Argentina within months of that visit ...
I have some visuals for you. It will better explain, I believe, why it all happened.

These Ombu trees have been here for 100s of years. There is no describing how huge and amazing they are in person. A true Swiss Family Robinson tree :)

Another Ombu for you ...

Thursday, March 3, 2016

A Friend.

My husband and I moved here to Upstate NY and 3 months later he died suddenly.
We had had no time to  meet people, make friends, we were still unpacking !
So I was gifted with the kindness of the neighbors .. strangers .. who quickly became much loved neighbors.
Up to this day, I know if I need someone, if I wonder if anyone is watching out for me, I can pretty much believe that they are the ones.

I was lucky that way.

Then there are those people on the internet that one might call "friends" .. You start out chatting because you were in the same place online, had something in common, and after a year or so, you realized that you thought of them as friends .. not the lady on that  website or that person on the internet.

I started to think of them as friends. Knowing that if I met them in person, I would be so happy, I would be so glad to give them a hug, to show them how much I cared about them, how thankful I was that they were there for me when I needed it the most, when I was so lost and sad and alone.

I am still sad. I am still alone. Not so lost and making plans to leave this place and start (another) new life ... but sadly, I lost those friends.
I don't know how , they were there one minute, then gone. They didn't say goodbye, there was no sign of why ... they are just not there anymore.

I am mostly very sad about this. But a tiny part of me is angry. What was on their minds ?
Why did they befriend me, be nice and email all the time, share confidences?
Because they were just bored ?
Because no one else cared ?
And if there was a good excuse, don't you think a nice person would at least tell me, hint that they were going to be busy , too busy to say hello now and then ?

The lesson to be learned here ... Don't think of the strangers you are in contact with online are your friends. They might be friendly but friends are nice .. all the time ..
Don't wonder why when people seem to care then drop you. Take it for granted that it is not you, it is them. And you know what ? they aren't nice people.

I always thought I was a good friend. When someone had troubles or sadness or needed something, I was there in any way I could be. I guess I was sort of wasted on these people. There will be nicer more honest people in my future and I will give them my friendship and not worry that they will be false or unkind.. but I will also know that You Never Know .. the person who seemed to be such a good person, fooled me. There is someone out there who can probably do it again :)

I got an email the other day.
From my best friend when we were 19.
She called me by our old nicknames for each other.
She asked me questions about this and that- me, my life, the children .. the future. Questions that showed she cared.
After all these years .. that is a Friend.

Oh .. and she still called me by the silly nickname she made up for me all those years ago.


Remember when you felt this way when it began to snow ? They started my day with a smile.

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sunset in Buenos Aires